2ND Annual Naughty Office Holiday Party: YOU IN IT TO WIN IT?

WEEEEE'RRRRRRREEEEE BAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKK!

Yep, it's that time again my single BALLER bbs. You've worked hard, you've played hard, and now it's time to make out in the bathroom at the Bell House hard: cause obvies you're all coming to the 2nd Annual BK Hookup Naughty Office Holiday party! I mean, right???!!!

Home Base Supply Co. (We make it easy to score!©) cordially invites all of your hot, aerobicized asses to their 2nd annual Naughty Office Holiday Party, on Wednesday December 8th.

Sponsored by yours truly and Eaters Digest NYC, this party is gonna be off the muthafuckin hook.

Same dealio as last year: i.e. we fill the entire Bell House to the brim full of hot, single-n-ready to mingle BKers, you come and try to convince as many people as you can that you're not at all lame, then voila = MAGIC HAPPENS.

+ Free drinks from 7- 8. So, you can almost DEF be drunk by like 8:30 or so.

+ Hot-n-sexy Santas will be on hand to take X-mas Card Photos with all y'all...even the Jews. Home Base Supply Co. (We make it easy to score!©) is an EEO, btchz!

+ We've been collecting copies of all of your naughty photocopies (you didn't realize that every time you do that, we save a copy for ourselves, did you? YEP, we do...and we're talking to you Frank in Accounting and Louisa in the Mail Room...cause you guys are KINK-AY).

+ We're also gonna have some fab food, and lots of other suprises for you too, so stay tuned.

So yeah: again we want all of your single asses come on out and get busy doin all of the shit that would normally get you fired. All rules are off.

BUY. TIX. NOWWWWWW!

JDub Festival of Strikes: YOU DESERVE IT

UPDATE: Congrats S. Diddy...YOU WONNNNNNNNNNNNN! Email deets to come shortly!

Yo, so JDub Records, you know that cool ass Jew-y record label slash event production company slash dudes who discovered Matisyahu so they deserve your respect crew are having a fundraising event! And it's at Brooklyn Bowl! On Tuesday, November 30th! Which is the night before the first night of Hannukah! Or Chanukah! Or however the fuck you wanna spell it!

FESTIVAL OF STRIKES, YO!

And duh: they've put together a killer line-up.

First of all, Eugene Mirman is hosting and he's way the hell funny. Then Soulico, The Sway Machinery AND DeLeon are performing! And maybe other people too! Who knows! JDub is crazy like that!

And even though tix are $15 each, we've got your hairy, Jewtown backs! Cause we're giving away TWO tickets to the show, AND a The Sway Machinery CD AND a DeLeon CD ANNNNNND a JDub t-shirt!

If you wanna win em, just leave a comment below (with your real email address, duh). You're gonna have to use one Yiddish word in sentence somewhere in your comment, and if I were you, I would get CREATIVE. Don't know any Yiddish words? You're totes in luck! There is this new thing called the googlez that will help your ass!

Hurry up and do this shit, ppl...you'll have from now until sometime tomorrow when I call my grandma Charlotte, a fluent Yiddish speaker, who will be helping me choose a winner.

Zol zion mit Mazel!

Halloween in Park Slope: IT'S ALL ABOUT THE PARADE

So, are you btchz going to the parade on Sunday?

In case you haven't noticed, I could give a rat's ass about Halloween and have ZERO interest in all this bullshit, except:

• my fat ass loves candy
• I enjoy dressing up my dog

Soooo, Greg, Ollie and I will probs drag our asses out to the parade, if for no other reason than I bought Ollie a stupid pumpkin costume annnnnd I maybe also wanna take pics of all your bebes in their costumes. Even though I'm convinced everyone is just gonna dress up like a bedbug.

Anyway.

Here's the scoop on the parade from the Park Slope Civic Council's website:

"The main event on Sunday, Oct. 31, is the Annual Park Slope Civic Council Children’s Halloween Parade, the largest such parade in the United States.

The parade kicks off at 6:30. Note that the route this year will begin at Seventh Avenue and 14th Street. The parade continues up Seventh, turns left on Third Street, and ends at the Old Stone House, where the revelry will continue until 9 p.m.

Before the parade, at 4 p.m., is the Park Slope Civic Council Halloween Costume Contest in front of the Secondary School for Law, Journalism, and Research, Seventh Avenue between Fourth and Fifth Streets. Costume categories range from “best theme” to “best classic character” to “best use of materials.” Winners will be given banners to display in the parade. (Registration from 3pm - 4pm)."

Be there or be square.

CHERYLWEEN 2010

I may or may not have almost gotten arrested on Halloween last year, so THIS YEAR, Ima try to keep it low-key and avoid any potential jailtime. 

So, I'm heading to CHERYLWEEN, a creeptacular dance party going down at The Bell House on Saturday night. 

When I realized that the URL for this dance group is "Cherylwillruinyourlife.com," I pretty much just fell in love on the spot. The question is, how much alcohol will you have to drink to deal with this? 

Anyone else going? 

WHASSUP: Saturday Night in the Slope

Since Game 7 probably won't happen (or, more precisely, most of you don't care), our fine readers suggest you should be doing the following on Saturday night. Choose judiciously.

*Saturday, 10/23: LOLz. Comedy folk Gentrify Brooklyn are doing their weekly thing at the Brooklyn Lyceum. This week's lineup happens to be killer. Check it out here.  The show's five bucks, but the dance party afterwards will cost you only your integrity.

*Saturday, 10/23: Dance party. Union Hall's starting a monthly Made in the Eighties dance night. If you're severely masochistic, the first one is this Saturday. It's free, and starts at midnight, which I suppose makes it Sunday. Yes, I have a college degree.

*Saturday, 10/23: Pumpkin art party. Party with free booze and pumpkin art by Brooklyn street artists.  It is in Sunset Park (no, not "SunSlope"), though, so you'll have to let your boundaries down for the evening. Info and an image of a drunk pumpkin here.

 And a friendly note from your editorial staff: The best way for us to make sure we don't post your event is to email us ten times asking us if we'll post your event.  We got your email.  We can read.

Keep the hits coming in the comments, gang.