PUNK SLOPE

Here is a little known fact about me: I am a punk.  Or at least I was for many years of my lower Westchester youth.  And when I was super punk rock, I did a slew of awesome things like photograph and interview some of my freakin' idols.  And one of those guys was Fat Mike from NOFX.  Sixteen-year-old me - who could barely breathe from Randall's Island Warped Tour dust inhalation - decided she could die happy.

So, now imagine my face when I saw the info on the new Thistle Hill Tavern restaurant that's taking Olive Vine's old location at 15th and Seventh.  Among the owners listed?  "Mike 'Fat Mike' Burkett, a member of the seminal punk band NOFX."

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GET STOKED AND GET FAT: DINE IN BROOKLYN

If Marty Markowitz says the wait is over, then folks, shit's o-v-e-r.

The only thing I like more than eating fine food myself is making sure your asses are eating tons of it, too, so I can look impossibly thin while standing next to you (more deep fried cupcakes, oui?). 

March 15th through the 25th, fancy-pants Brooklyn restaurants are offering three-course dinners for 25 bucks (and lunch for $20.10 for you, uh, "freelancers" in the nabe during the day) during Dine In Brooklyn.  There are a whopping 35 Park Slope places on that list, including Applewood, Sette, al di la, Rose Water, and only nine zillion others.  On my prohibitive writer's salary (full-disclosure: writing for FIPS does not a billionaire make), I know I'm stoked - especially when all I need to do to gorge myself is walk down the street.  Don't lie; I know the idea pleases your lazy, poor (albeit gorgeous) selves, as well.

The deets are here, and the full restaurant list can be grabbed here.  (An aside, not related to Slope - if you don't drag yourselves down to L&B if you've never been, I'll find you all and do things to you that I don't want to put in writing on the Internet.)

Maybe my Manhattan friends will actually come see me now?  Maybe?  Anyone?  Guys, you listening?

YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT: Breast Milk Cheese

Some guy is selling his wife's breast milk cheese at his restaurant. His phone is "ringing off the hook" with total fucking morons who want to try this shit. HE HAS THIS BREAST MILK CHEESE PAIRED WITH A RIESLING.

Is this real life?

Cause I'm actually starting to think that all this shit is part of some big marketing ploy engineered by Denise Albert, and Park Slope Parents and all those other annoying Mombies, just to ensure that the "parenting lobby" stays firmly planted in the weekly news frenzy.

Cause otherwise I've got to acknowledge the fact that we live in world where breast milk cheese is considered OK...and that's a hard fucking pill for me to swallow.

[Sidenote: what is the BALLER equivalent of this anyway?? Pâté made with my already ingested morning after pills? Pot brownies? Oh wait...].

(via The NY Post)

Bussaco To Katy Sparks: 'Don't Fuck With Us' [Well, Kinda]

Ok, so they didn't *quite* say that, but they are stepping up to the plate and calling out former chef Katy Sparks as the likely source for the bouncing checks, business is falling off rumor of last week.

Bussaco owner Scott Carney claims that everything is just peaches-n-cream over there, and though they *did* bounce a couple of checks (oopsie!) they paid em off and all's cool. Apparently they have a new chef, Andrew Smith, formerly of Lupa and del Posto, and Carney claims everything is just fine, thank you very much.

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HELP: Girl Scout Cookies For the Rich And Childless??

UPDATE: I have located a Girl Scout Cookie source. I repeat, GIRL SCOUT COOKIES ARE IN THE HIZZY (or almost). Get thee to the Girl Scout Cookie Cupboard! Here's allllll the scoop, thanks to our friends at Blondie & Brownie.

Ok, I've gotten THREE emails about this shit in the past week or so, and quite frankly I want some answers too.

Where the christ can us BALLERS go to get our hands on some motherfucking girl scout cookies!??

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