MANHATTAN IS DUNZO: BEST BROOKLYN GEAR

You only go into Manhattan for work.  You've broken up friendships because you refuse to meet up "in the city" on weekends.  You have gotten into actual arguments with loved ones over why New Jersey is the worst place on planet Earth.

You are a Brooklyn snob.

Wait, is that redundant?  Who cares.  Embrace your douchebaggery!  Advertise your love of Brooklyn and your hatred for everything else with the best Brooklyn gear money can buy. 

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Park Slope and the Thin Blue Line

Um, will someone please let me into this family?  A story from yesterday's Brooklyn paper reports on a father and son from the Slope who sent a camera twenty miles up into the stratosphere.  Skip the story and watch the vid; this thing is so well-planned out and full of yuppie hubris, I am beaming with 'hood pride.

I may have done rocketry with all the boys at Gifted Summer Camp in Westchester (caps for emphasis, obvs) but this beats the bloody shit out of that. 

Luke Geissbuhler: Dude. Adopt me.  I want to send shit into space with you.

WHO GIVES A SHIT, BREEDER EDITION: Where Did You Pop Out Yer Kid?

Because all natural births should be immortalized in stone.  (Photo: Gawker.)

I hate to break it to you guys, but the secret's out: the inhabitants of  Brownstone Brooklyn like to breed.  (That's us, in case you're keeping score.)  Gothamist's reporting that our BREEDERS are so fancy-ass, we refuse to pop our babies out in this borough, despite the fact that we carry around our Coop groceries in Brooklyn tote bags, and tell everyone how so over living in Manhattan we are.  (Truth, if you still have that scorecard handy.)

So, your Q of the day: BREEDERS, if your spawn entered the world in this fine city, where was he/she/it born?  And I suppppose if you're joining the legion of Park Slope Parents soonish, you're welcome to respond, too, since lately I'm getting the feeling every fucking person in this city besides me is pregnant.  (Yes, I give up my seat on the F...but do YOU?)

As snarky as I'm dying to get on this one, I suppose I'll have to step back and let you all steer the ship; the closest I've ever gotten to a Brooklyn hospital is my daily walk past Methodist.  (Side note: I do have a few friends--mostly native New Yorkers--who carry around cards that read, "If found injured in Brooklyn, transport to Manhattan hospital for medical treatment.")  Fire away in the comments.

AWESOME SHIT THIS WEEKEND: BIKEJUMBLE AND STREET FAIR

Photo:Aberjona on Flickr

We <3 bikes here at FIPS (though wear your helmet or I'll find you and bad things will happen), so we were quite pleased to read that this weekend brings back the Brooklyn Bike Jumble: a flea market for bikes.

According to the Brooklyn Paper, the cycilng masses will be congregating on Sunday, May 16 from 10-4 at Washington Park on Fifth Ave at 3rd Street and doing the ol' swaperoo on bikes, parts, and handy accessories to help you run with Billyburg's finest.  Bikes will be priced at pleasingly low $$ amounts, and there'll be a show of vintage bikes, too.  We're into it.

But wait!  There's more!  Infomercial levels of awesome! The Fifth Avenue Street Fair will be going on, too.  I can vouch that this thing is actually sweet, with live music and the companion Punk + Underground Record Fair at Southpaw (at which I've scored many an excellent record).  Hopefully the weather will not make us want to drink bleach.

So get fit, get hip, and get on a goddamn bike while listening to records or something.  You know, since our trains are dressed up in bus costumes for the next two weekends again, anyway.

Poor + Thirsty? Where to Get Drunk in Park Slope

Alas, we received the following email yesterday at FIPS HQ:

Your Name: Cindy

Subject: unemployed persons bar crawl

Message: so where in Bk should my loser friends and I go tomorrow to get wasted on the cheap?

So, of course, we decided to connect with our good friends at killer new blog on the block Brokelyn for some poor pointers. Tim Donnelly sent along some expert notes, so check it:

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