ALL ABOARD THE HIPSTER EXPRESS

If you've ever taken the Megabus, you know that those jerks just LOVE to take the most retarded route possible.  Times Square at 5pm on a Friday night?  SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN.  You want to be pissed off, but you can't be, because you know that a round-trip ticket to DC costs less than a one-way cab ride from Midtown to Park Slope.  You're all like, "CURSE YOU, MEGABUS.  THERE MUST BE ANOTHER WAY!"

Ohhhhhhh damn, THERE IS. 

Its official name is the KnowItExpress, but its been dubbed the "Hipster Express"—leaving from DC and dropping off on Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn for $40 round-trip.  According this incredibly lame account, it seems like just your standard bus service.  

I think we all know that the REAL hipster express (the G train?) would drop off on Bedford Avenue.  AMIRIGHT?  

Saturday In Park Slope With Gourds

Meant this as a counterpoint to my grousing about the farmer's market but got distracted. Anyway, given the show of force around the nabe this weekend (did NOBODY go to the country?), I was pleasantly surprised by the peace and serenity of the Botanical Gardens. 

Nobody was there! On a free Saturday morning.

My faith was renewed. Everybody looked nicer on the way back home. Even Roly Poly Guacamole or whatever the fuck they were called, the bearded boy band singing outside the library. I almost shed a tear for their rendition of Joni's timeless classic, the "Circle Game."

Because it does go round and round. But kind of in a nice way.

At least until my loving feeling was all but obliterated by the Erica-endorsed Stone Park pony and face painting show! Surely a Park Slope Parents plot to sew (sow?) misery in the BREEDER population!

Bugged to Death in Park Slope

Do I really have to start sleeping in this?

I grew up in the city: a fact, yes, I like to lord over you Neauveau Yorkers whenever I get the chance. We all have our annoying qualities (perhaps me more than most).

Anyway, back in the day, I don't recall having to worry about being EATEN EFFING ALIVE night after infernal night by mosquitoes!

As if I don't have enough beasts invading my conjugal bed, seldom does a night pass that my husband or I are not lying in wait and slapping ineffectually at our heads, or worse, turning on the light to wait. 

Last night, my much needed beauty sleep was once again disturbed by the telltale horrible buzz in my ear. I managed to slide through the littered bodies to cover myself in the DEET-iest Cutter I could find and slept the rest of the night smothered under sheets.

What gives? 

And, leaving aside the whole West Nile issue, what's your strategy? Cause I KNOW I can't be the only one!

Ceiling fans? Lemongrass scented deodorant? Mosquito nets? Moving upstate (where I didn't get bitten more than a few times all summer!)?

Signs of the Times

Ha! Gallows humor from the peanut gallery. At least nobody lost any body parts on this, the summer's original bad driving site.

Also, the eye-catching marketing sign below, which confirmed that my seven-year-old can indeed read.

"Please don't sell me, mommy."

Send us your signage and we can start an occasional photo series. Or not. We don't really care either way.

The Culture of Narcissism

This is just TOO fucking perfect.

And no, this is not a staged photo, ppl. This book was just innocently sitting there on a Park Slope stoop around the corner from my apt. And while narcissism was not, in fact, on Nate Silver's little handy dandy statistical matrix that helped him and NY mag decide that Park Slope was the best nabe in the entire fucking universe, I'm guessing we'd probs be the "best" at that too.

Can someone pls just immeds nominate this for Park Slope photo of the week? Eh fuck it, the century?