PRIME 6 PETITION TWO: ELECTRIC BUGABOO

God bless the fucking Internet, AMIRITE?! I would suck the internet's dick and let it shoot its load inside me.

I mean look: let's say you came across some blatantly racist whore, who needed to be schooled in an incalculable number of ways, but you knew that nothing you could ever do would teach her a lesson. The whole experience would leave you frustrated with the awful knowledge that she would never in a million years get what was coming to her!

But with the internet, you simply post about her on your blog that gets a million pageviews a month, and then BAM! Gawker, Gothamist, the NY Post, the Huffington Post, the Wall Street JOURNAL--all these fun-loving guys join in the fun, and pretty soon the entire tri-state area is calling her a cunt.

I wonder where she is, yaknow? Have you guys been thinking about that too? I want to see her reading all this press - I wonder if it's getting the message into her skull? Nah, it never does - I guarantee you she just just feels misquoted, maligned, and misunderstood.

Whatever, Jennifer, I'm having enough fun for both of us. But before you move somewhere where they don't have the Internet so that you can live this down, at least check out this other petition you've inspired.

Oh shit, also - what do you think of the signatures on your own petition!? See how creative our community is? It's the organic, indie, crowd-sourced art you wanted to foster in the first place! You did it! Not since the likes of Anita Fistinme and Dick Gizinya have I seen so many hilariously innovative names.  

Now before you sign-off, as a token of my appreciation - seeing as you're such a fan of rap music - please accept these freestyle rhymes in your honor - entirely off the DOME my shun!
 
Yo Jennifer McMillen
Ya shit is Illin
I got a fillin ya flannel-lovin ass
just got its fill of hate
pushed back at you from what you put out there
Yo you got some gout there
Eat more iron and shit and take a break from the computer
I linked to your petition
I'm sure by now you're wishin
That you had stuck to Netflix in your cellar
But you came off like Helen Keller
Yo you're wack and finished son
The blacks are gonna get you hun
That's off the dome kid
When I post I get gaw-kid
No foo fighters for you
So take it from a Jew
Soundproof your bedroom walls
And lock up your bug-a-boo

Word. PEACE! I'm down like your property values.

Fips crew off the dome son, ps321-style Connecticut muffin nicca-WHAT!?