IRONIC PARK SLOPE STRIPPERS PRODUCE NON-IRONIC PARK SLOPE BONERS

Holy. Fucking. Ass.

Believe it or not, the above photo was taken on Monday night at a Park Slope establishment. Praise Jesus; would you look at that shit? Never in all my Park Slope history (except maybe for grabbing Leah's ass at the FIPS meetup) have I ever had to run home and rub one out so badly.

Now, I had heard a lot about this bar – Lucky 13 Saloon – and I had heard that some cool-ass shit went down there; shit that was WAY too cool to actually be happening in Park Slope. But as these photos prove, it IS happening in Park Slope, albiet in a hippsteriffic Post-Punk Street Carnage context.

I'm so glad it's couched in female dominance and postmodern irony, because now making a girl show you her tits is no longer offensive! See, it's all above board and blessed by the Politically Correct goddesses of rackets like Gorilla Coffee - and therefore everything is ok!

Praise fucking Jesus; can I get a witness: (yeah, they're clickable)

(Please note that I took the time to blur out EVERY single face in these photos, so that in case you were at the bar that night but told your wife you were at an aids rally or a van halen concert or some shit, and she happens to read my crappy blog, she doesn't now have you pegged as a dick-slapping whoremonger)

Here's my plan: I'm going back to Lucky 13 and telling the next williamsburgy stripper on that pole that I'm writing a dissertation on modes of orgasmic sustainability in Obama's post-racial America. I'll let her know that if she agrees to give me a hummer behind the counter, 100% of the renewable energy it generates will go directly to freeing Palestine.

Did you wise-asses already know about this place? Tell me your Lucky 13 experiences - or just give up your smugness for once and admit that you're as shocked as I am.

WORD!