IRONIC PARK SLOPE STRIPPERS PRODUCE NON-IRONIC PARK SLOPE BONERS
Benjamin | Wednesday, March 18, 2009 at 12:45AM ;)
Holy. Fucking. Ass.
Believe it or not, the above photo was taken on Monday night at a Park Slope establishment. Praise Jesus; would you look at that shit? Never in all my Park Slope history (except maybe for grabbing Leah's ass at the FIPS meetup) have I ever had to run home and rub one out so badly.
Now, I had heard a lot about this bar – Lucky 13 Saloon – and I had heard that some cool-ass shit went down there; shit that was WAY too cool to actually be happening in Park Slope. But as these photos prove, it IS happening in Park Slope, albiet in a hippsteriffic Post-Punk Street Carnage context.
I'm so glad it's couched in female dominance and postmodern irony, because now making a girl show you her tits is no longer offensive! See, it's all above board and blessed by the Politically Correct goddesses of rackets like Gorilla Coffee - and therefore everything is ok!
Praise fucking Jesus; can I get a witness: (yeah, they're clickable)
;)
;)
(Please note that I took the time to blur out EVERY single face in these photos, so that in case you were at the bar that night but told your wife you were at an aids rally or a van halen concert or some shit, and she happens to read my crappy blog, she doesn't now have you pegged as a dick-slapping whoremonger)
Here's my plan: I'm going back to Lucky 13 and telling the next williamsburgy stripper on that pole that I'm writing a dissertation on modes of orgasmic sustainability in Obama's post-racial America. I'll let her know that if she agrees to give me a hummer behind the counter, 100% of the renewable energy it generates will go directly to freeing Palestine.
Did you wise-asses already know about this place? Tell me your Lucky 13 experiences - or just give up your smugness for once and admit that you're as shocked as I am.
WORD!
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Reader Comments (76)
Anyone who is offended by ANY part of this post is cordially invited to suck my balls. I pray that I am able to keep offending you by hook or by crook - it is a VITAL psychosocial service that this community DESPERATELY needs.
Melody, I'm in love with you. I hope this post brings you a billion new customers who buy top shelf pabst.
The rest a' yous - I'm headed to the muthafuckin LUCKY 13 - Who's with me?!?! This is the sign-up sheet or shoot me an email if you're afraid your wife won't sign the permission slip.
peace.
I don't understand where the sarcastic angle comes from on this one. Should it be a surprise that a neighborhood in Brooklyn has a strip bar? It's always been a regular neighborhood as much as it is also the stroller capital of NYC.
BTW- It's really douchey to take cell phone pics in a strip bar - whether or not you have a nifty little blog.
Lighten Up folks. Screwing the same man (or woman) gets old and you need something to tickle the cockles (or the titties). America is so screwed up!
Spend more time trying to stop shit like the Twilight Book series that makes gawky young girls think it's okay to hang out with guys who are moody, mean, and don't know if they can control himself not to kill you. It's no wonder Rhianna went back to her beater.
I'll go on a field trip there-- but I want to sit next to Leah!
Nice career choice.
To KRS Uno (and the rest of you), Lucky 13 is NOT a strip bar! it's a heavy metal bar! we just happen to have burlesque shows twice a month and go-go dancers on most saturdays. that is all. they keep their bras on or cover their nips with pasties & always wear panties. and sometimes random girls get up on the bar and take some clothes off and dance. why would I stop them? it's a free country. :)
I'm behind the bar friday and saturday nights if anyone has anything to add. I don't wear much clothing either. :)
PS: Thanks Benjamin! Come introduce yourself some weekend soon!
Shoot, I was just kidding. First of all, I'm not really a stripper, second, I have given lots of hand jobs, and, third, I'm not even really a woman.
This 13 Lucky sounds fun. I'll go and report back on what I find--blogggers style.
Strippers give the BEST fucking blowjobs too (except when they don't, right "K"?). Because they recognize that they can justify it as not being part of their "job." Unlike prostitutes who suck a dick for money without a 401k, our dear stripper-girls, when titillated enough to play here comes the train, open the tunnel, can front like they're just hyper-sexual and like sucking a dick.
No, Kitty, you're not a whore. You're a stripper. If we, as consenting adults, decide to provide each other with oral pleasure, that's cool. but if you have me buy you like 17 drinks, then your a drunk whore (but I LOVE you still).
Benjamin. Next time we're kickin' it in the titty zone, please--pretty fucking please--take my fucking picture for the world to see that Burkelee likes him some naked ass ladies.
As far as rubbing one out? Hells yeahs.
I can't believe how many damn responses there are to this post. First of all, Luck 13 ain't new. Do you buttheads only go to bars that have a 5th ave address?? Melody- you and your crew are the nicest, and the dancers are beautiful girls. But guys, do me a solid? If you're ass-ugly, don't go. I'm a chick who frequents the place and I need some male eye candy, and the pickens are pretty slim.
Hey, Burkelee, do you know that expression "it's all about the benjamins?"
What does that even mean?
friggin awesome! I'm a straight chick who loves strip clubs but is too lazy to go to them. I'm so excited! yay for Melody!
(don't worry I wont ruin your joint; i aint' no bleeding heart liberal and I actually went to the Heavy Metal Grand Slam summer of '00 (or '01 cant remember) and have partied with the guys from WARRANT when I was in college - don't ask)
what what!
Bud-weiser!
Seriously... you boys act like you never see naked chicas...... Oh well. I'm in.
My wife and I used to visit this place back in the early 70's. I went last weak and it's pretty much the same. Thanks for sticking around...or something.
I'm male eye candy and a regular at 13. I'm single too so if you can work your way past my lesbian runnin crew, you might have a shot.
Is this the same place that the bouncers ride around on Segway's trying to break up fights? If so, this place rocks!
Does WC stand for WATER CLOSETED?
'what?' - Yes this is the place where the bouncers ride around on Segway's. This is the only place currently on 13th street that does this.
FoaF: 13th street in Brooklyn or Manhattan?
Thanks for the clarification Melody. Sounded like a strip bar from everyone's comments. I should have clicked the link to the bar's site.
I saw Jack Johnson play here. Best concert I've ever seen.
Brooklyn
I saw Jack Johnson play on Jimmy Kimmel. Pretty amazing, considering he's a gyant phaggot.
WC doesn't stand for WATER CLOSETED, it stands for WASTE COAT.
It stands for Way Cool. Like the Fonz. Let me know what your favorite Cannibal Corpse song is and I'll punch the jukebox for ya. Ayyyyy!
Hey WC,
My favorite Cannibal Corpse song is "Rock You Like a Hurricane"
Punch that into the jukebox and let's start rockin.