IRONIC PARK SLOPE STRIPPERS PRODUCE NON-IRONIC PARK SLOPE BONERS
Benjamin | Wednesday, March 18, 2009 at 12:45AM ;)
Holy. Fucking. Ass.
Believe it or not, the above photo was taken on Monday night at a Park Slope establishment. Praise Jesus; would you look at that shit? Never in all my Park Slope history (except maybe for grabbing Leah's ass at the FIPS meetup) have I ever had to run home and rub one out so badly.
Now, I had heard a lot about this bar – Lucky 13 Saloon – and I had heard that some cool-ass shit went down there; shit that was WAY too cool to actually be happening in Park Slope. But as these photos prove, it IS happening in Park Slope, albiet in a hippsteriffic Post-Punk Street Carnage context.
I'm so glad it's couched in female dominance and postmodern irony, because now making a girl show you her tits is no longer offensive! See, it's all above board and blessed by the Politically Correct goddesses of rackets like Gorilla Coffee - and therefore everything is ok!
Praise fucking Jesus; can I get a witness: (yeah, they're clickable)
;)
;)
(Please note that I took the time to blur out EVERY single face in these photos, so that in case you were at the bar that night but told your wife you were at an aids rally or a van halen concert or some shit, and she happens to read my crappy blog, she doesn't now have you pegged as a dick-slapping whoremonger)
Here's my plan: I'm going back to Lucky 13 and telling the next williamsburgy stripper on that pole that I'm writing a dissertation on modes of orgasmic sustainability in Obama's post-racial America. I'll let her know that if she agrees to give me a hummer behind the counter, 100% of the renewable energy it generates will go directly to freeing Palestine.
Did you wise-asses already know about this place? Tell me your Lucky 13 experiences - or just give up your smugness for once and admit that you're as shocked as I am.
WORD!
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Reader Comments (76)
Dude Jack Johnson played on Arsenio, not Kimmel
Plus the only cool bar is Moutarde.
I loved it. I want more tits in park slope. The only ones I usually see are the feeders.
Can anyone guess what I mean when I say "feeders?"
^^^^^ Yes! Mooooooo!
Oh Gawd, Jack Johnson is the fucking worst. Ever.
Music by and for eunuchs.
Who had to go and ruin a perfectly great post about tits and ass with the boner killer Jack Johnson?
Thanks. A lot.
Jack Johnson fucking sucks.
If you want to listen to a respectable singer you should check out James Blunt.
Jack Johnson sucks; I was watching Carson Daly the other night and he made the funniest joke about Jack Johnson. Did anyone else see that? What was that joke about Jack Johnson that Carson Daly made?
I don't know this guy but I guess he has been to Lucky 13. In addition, he needs some help unloading his pogs. Shit is free.
Check it out: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/bos/944842450.html
Way to reveal the name of the bar where this magical activity was happening.
Hard to say what is the biggest threat to cool, sexy, semi-legal fun in this city: the cops, the ABC or bloggers...
dave,
you're a geek for watching carson daily. besides, you should be asleep at that time of the night. and shut the f up already about jack johnson.
KitKat, seriously, it was a really funny joke about Jack Johnson. I'm not even a huge Carson Daly fan--he's no Jimmy Kimmel--but he did have that one really hilarious joke about Jack Johnson. I just can't remember the joke, and I can't seem to find it on Gooogle. :'(
Uh, sure Dave. So you say you're not a 'huge' carson daly fan, which implies you're somewhat of a fan. I'm afraid I can no longer respond to your posts for that reason alone. It was nice knowing ya. good bye.
Dave, you are probably at home right now watching the Ryan Seacrest Family Comedy Hour. That is so lame of you. As I said before I'm no longer going to respond to your posts for that reason alone.
A handful of us DJs are headed over to Lefferts Garden to spin some Tiesto tracks. We'll be in that general area. We have a t-shirt launcher and we'll be giving away up to 6 shirts tonight. If you can believe it, there is no cover charge. This is just an idea that some of us FIPS readers had. See you there and don't forget to bring Teva's for putting your feet in the pool.
Shit, are you for reals DJ GUY? That sounds dope--where you spinnin'?
Lefferts Garden. Just head that way, you'll see us. Or you might hear the people screaming at the top of their lungs to get hold of these 6 t-shirts :)
It's 8:45 now so the party will hit its peak right at 9:05. Oh, if you are FIPS reader you can get in at 9. Just let the bouncer in that area know that you have heard/read FIPS. In the past some people have tried lying about having heard/read FIPS...I don't recommend that. This bouncer in that area usually doesn't fall for it.
Again, don't forget your Teva's or Aqua socks. Whatever keeps your feet clean from others.
We don't want it to get out of control so don't tell too many of your friends.
Yeahs, yeahs, I hear that--but wear in the LG is this thing? I can roll that way and keep my ears on, and I'll keep my crew super tight--only real straight FIPSers tonight, none of those fairly weather pussies!
man, fuck dis. is this a blog about weird shit in park slope or a goddamn music blog? fuck jack johnson, james blunt and any of these other pussy ass singers. and fuck you dj dicks that are trying to coordinate some bullshit over in LG. over in LG we don't listen to tiesto. bring your bouncer in that area over here and i'll show you some real music; rock music. 311, beastie boys, pink = the raw shit.
Once the man gets wind of this it will be shut down faster then you can say uptight wasp-y stroller bitches....
ha- there's a guy in the bottom of the third photo that isn't blurred out. and his face is fucking lit up by his own cell phone. AND i know this guy! AND he is my friend's boyfriend. ha, he is so fucked after i send this to her.
I can't believe (on a blog about Park Slope) that [practically] no one knows Lucky 13. That's the most shocking thing on this thread.
(I once saw Negative Reaction blow the power like 3 times one night before the neighbors complained about the noise.)
Very cool place, though.
Oh, snap! There's an evil KitKat who posted the bitch-slap Ryan Seacrest post to poor Dave. Who are you, evil KitKat? I will find you and destroy you!
Hi Kitty, Kit Kat and Rave Kat!
HJ?
I am the real Burkley Carroll and I'm a homo.