General Tso's DEATHMATCH!

Two men enter, one man leaves.

As part of FIPS' ongoing Food-Off series, we've taken the most popular dish from the two most popular Park Slope Chinese Restaurants and pitted them against one another. The dish: General Tso's Chicken. The restaurants: Red Hot II and Hunan Delight.

Now of course, there will inevitably be some crackhead who says "What about MR. Wonton?!?!" Save it - Mr. Wonton is such a greasy shithole that if you're really that obsessed, just pretend we included it in the competition and it LOST.

Let the games begin! [cue big racist GONG!]

Here's what we ordered:

• General Tso's chicken
• Fried Pork Dumplings (suck it vegans)
• Normal person Eggroll

Advanced Imaging Analysis:

RED HOT:

HUNAN:

The Results:

Eggrolls:
Red Hot's eggroll was a little bit soggy - but I like it that way! Its consistency had a little bit of "give" after delivery, so for me it was just perfect. Note than I'm also someone who lets cereal soak for a minute so that it doesn't cut the roof of my mouth, so take that into account. (Mom, I'm talking about pork and milk in the same paragraph - is that kosher?)

Red Hot's eggroll was packed with ingredients like little bits of pork and millimeter shrimps - reminded me of the old Empire Szechuan Eggrolls of yore. A little Duck Sauce and hot mustard (the delivery mustard packets suck but that shit is the same at EVERY chinese restaurant in the world even in Africa) and you're good to go.

Hunan's eggroll was also great - it was much crispier, so it's easy to see why someone would prefer it to Red Hot's. Erica was one such person - she LOVED the Hunan eggroll and hated the Red Hot one - clearly the illogical and emotional reaction of someone with an axe to grind. Erica is a Hunan devotee, so I don't know whether she's full of it or not - the Hunan eggroll was just cabbage - no ingredients whatsoever - and yet Erica claimed it had some mysterious "flavor" that the Red Hot one didn't have.

So for Egg Rolls, Erica says Hunan, Benjamin says Red Hot.

Dumplings:
Hunan wins this one no contest. Their dumplings were incredible - all little and tight and browned to perfection. They weren't even greasy...whereas you can clearly see from the picture that the Red Hot dumplings really did resemble some form of vital inner organ.

Dumplings: Hunan wins hands down.

General's Chicken:
Just look at the picture. Do I have to say anything more?

Don't get me wrong - the Hunan General's Chicken is still good - the sauce is much darker and a bit less sweet than Red Hot's - but the texture just does my head in. It really is a mass of gloppy meat, whereas Red Hot's platter consists of bite-sized chunks of crispy goodness. Red hot is a little heavy on the breading - but the overall experience is still incredible.

Now here's an interesting conclusion for you - and how fitting that there's a Tao-like paradox at the end of all this:

While it has to be said that Red Hot wins the General's challenge - since its General's Chicken made for a more enjoyable experience - it has to be said that I still came away feeling like Hunan was a better restaurant: Its General's Chicken, while less enjoyable, certainly seemed realer. I could tell that it was actual chicken - whereas Red Hot had more of a McDonald's artifically-engineered taste explosion... I would not be shocked to discover that it had been packaged and sold from some kind of secret factory.

The freshness of Hunan's ingredients, combined with the crispiness of their dishes even after delivery, (The Red Hot broccoli was so soggy and saucy that we couldn't lift it onto the plate to photograph) convinces me that Hunan is the place I'd order from next time; I just won't order all this nasty shit.

Crispy Shrimp, moo-shoo vegetable / extra hoisin for life!!

Comments

[Anonymous]

One suggestion and it will change your life.... Ask for the "fresh" hot mustard sauce. You will no longer suffer the crap that is in the little packets. Every chinese restaurant has it, you just have to ask for it.

[Heather D]

Take that JSF! No, really though - if you match them against eachother again go for something like Kung Pao - I feel like that's really where Hunan has fresh ingredients and Red Hot serves some sort of weird greasy soupy mess. I usually have to drain the sauce from my food when I order at Red Hot, which is why I stopped eating there. But yeah, it sounds like you got a lot of the soggy experience there too.

[Anonymous]

Tofu has the best General TSO

[collideorscape]

Is there a reason that Szechuan Delight seems to be entirely off the radar on this blog? It's been the place of choice for a long time now, but maybe that just means we haven't tried other newer or better Chinese? I like their chicken with hot peppers and their Tso's. I think of their dumplings as an almost Platonic ideal.

[David]

There's a Tyson Chicken ad on this page. Keep it classy, FIPS! If the monetization is not happening, I hear Red Hot needs a new delivery person!

[Dollymibella]

The fresh hot mustard is a sinus clearing must. I have NEVER had a good dumpling from any of these places. Colli...the last time I ordered from Szechuan Delight the order came from Mr. Wonton. I was like, why is there a MR. W menu attached to the bag?? I called the # on the SD menu again and sure enough, it was Mr. W.