[What You Should Order At...] Pickle Shack

WHAT YOU SHOULD ORDER AT...is a recurring column designed in kind for your opinionated asses and our lazy asses. When the mood strikes, we pick one Park Slope resto and recommend our favorite dish. Are we right? Are we wrong? YOU KNOW YOU WANNA WEIGH IN.

OH, MAN. When your best friend asks you if you'd like to "go to Pickle Shack," are you concerned that you're about to cross some sort of sexual boundary? Do you instantly cover your most delicate orifice?

You should be slightly worried, because it sounds like your friend is a bit of an opportunistic perv. What you shouldn’t be worried about, despite the fact that your "totally supportive" friend is "totally scheming" on ways to "bed you," is what you should get to eat at Pickle Shack, because that's where you're ending up tonight.

The scenario: You and your "friend" go to Pickle Shack. You've had a long day at work. Gothamist and its intelligent commenters didn't seem to care for your story about the hot, new, organic TOTALLY BROOKLYN restaurant that's replacing that SO IMPORTANT Brooklyn institution whose TOTALLY SAD death you're trying to derive page clicks from. Also, in his Monday post, John Del Signore made a clever comment that slyly mocked your winter boots but also took a shot at de Blasio. Is it clever? Is it mean? CONFLICT. The answer is booze.

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Park Slope: Home of Adam's Atomic Dustbin

When you think of the word "atomic," what do you think of? Do you think of "atomic lasers falling from the sky?" Do you think of the 1992 Ned's Atomic Dustbin #1 hit "Not Sleeping Around?" Has Joe McCarthy got to you and your brain instantly goes to death and destruction and "BOMB?"

I bet decades ago, when Atomic Wings founder Adam Lippin fell in love with Buffalo wings and decided to turn his love of said food into a franchised chain of wing joints, he was associating good thoughts with the word "atomic." I bet he loved hotass wings but had absolutely no idea that there'd be a seriously sad incarnation of his winged vision holding down prime real estate in Park Slope...in 2014.

Flashback: In the summer of 2011, when the world was coming to an end, I declared that my "FiPS End of Days Meal" would be "as many Jerk BBQ Chicken Littles from Atomic Wings as possible and 7-8 growlers of beer from Bierkraft." Almost three years have passed since then and, looking back on that decision, I can't help but wonder what the fuck I was thinking. Atomic Wings for a last meal? C'mon now.

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Taco Santo Was My Favorite Explorer in 4th Grade

Hey guys? Remember when BBQ was the hot new thing in Park Slope? Get with the times, jerks. That's SO 2013. These days, it's all about the taco. As one of life’s most versatile foods, the taco's become SUPER TRENDY. GET ON BOARD. Though I'm already on board and love tacos like I love my own mother, I for one can not wait until dosas or some shit eventually bump tacos from their mighty perch. Then we can finally pass the DREAM Act.

In Park Slope, there was the 2012-2013 BBQ revolution. We had nothing. Then we had everything. It all started with Ft Reno. Then there was Fletcher's and Dinosaur and Morgan's. Different styles. Different levels of quality. Talk about filling a five-dollar whore with a forty-five dollar penis! As a result, BBQ got way overblown in Park Slope and  forerunner Ft Reno lasted just two years, with owner Jacques Gautier (also of Palo Santo) deciding to shut Ft Reno down at the end of 2013 & reopen the space on February 1st, with taco-flavored kisses for everyone, as the creatively-named "Taco Santo."

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This Year, Have a Beyonce-Themed VD!

Screengrab via globalgrind.com

Back in my day, the ultimate musical power couple was Marc Anthony and J-Lo; two performers, both with massive pop appeal, writing songs and kinda going on tour together, one gay, the other not very good. Sadly, their marriage had some differences and that arrangement has since gone the way of the dodo.

These days, that triumphant musical power couple is BY FAR Jay-Z and Beyonce. "Bonnie and Clyde" and "Drunk in Love" and making Blue Ivy and owning the Nets and then Robinson Cano and ethical Barney's clothing and dropping albums on us like a NINJABOMB and Brooklyn, son. That's the power of love. Shit...Forbes even says so because FORBES LIKES MONEY.

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A Tale of Two Bars

Bars bars bars bars bars bars bars. Every time you blink there's a new friggin bar in Park Slope. I wish I could keep up but I just can't, or more specifically, my liver wallet can't. Does that make me sad? I guess. Case in point: two new bars opened up last week. Both places--a wine bar/Turkish tapas spot called Pierre Loti & a "cocktail bar" named Parish--are TOTALLY CLASSY. Since I love class & need to keep up & can never find enough places in which to consume alcohol, I paid both a visit over the past week.

First up was Pierre Loti, a NYC mini-chain with locales in Chelsea, Midtown & Union Sq. It's named after some French dude. DON'T CARE. Now they've got a bar on 5th Ave & St Marks, in the space that used to host the failed Canaille wine bar. Park Slope is Pierre’s Loti's first trek across the bridge & let's be honest here...if you're a bar/restaurant expanding out of Manhattan into Brooklyn for the first time, you're likely looking at Williamsburg or Park Slope. Park Slope LOVES a good wine bar. Wine bars are TOTALLY CLASSY...an environment where breeders can freely mingle with ballers. It kind of makes sense that Pierre Loti would open up their first Brooklyn joint here.

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