[What You Should Order At...] Pickle Shack

WHAT YOU SHOULD ORDER AT...is a recurring column designed in kind for your opinionated asses and our lazy asses. When the mood strikes, we pick one Park Slope resto and recommend our favorite dish. Are we right? Are we wrong? YOU KNOW YOU WANNA WEIGH IN.

OH, MAN. When your best friend asks you if you'd like to "go to Pickle Shack," are you concerned that you're about to cross some sort of sexual boundary? Do you instantly cover your most delicate orifice?

You should be slightly worried, because it sounds like your friend is a bit of an opportunistic perv. What you shouldn’t be worried about, despite the fact that your "totally supportive" friend is "totally scheming" on ways to "bed you," is what you should get to eat at Pickle Shack, because that's where you're ending up tonight.

The scenario: You and your "friend" go to Pickle Shack. You've had a long day at work. Gothamist and its intelligent commenters didn't seem to care for your story about the hot, new, organic TOTALLY BROOKLYN restaurant that's replacing that SO IMPORTANT Brooklyn institution whose TOTALLY SAD death you're trying to derive page clicks from. Also, in his Monday post, John Del Signore made a clever comment that slyly mocked your winter boots but also took a shot at de Blasio. Is it clever? Is it mean? CONFLICT. The answer is booze.

Wednesday night. Pickle Shack. You're there and in doing so, you feel like you've finally checked a box off of your BK HPSTR LST.™ After all, one of your "fellow" Gothamist writers hasn't shut up about Dogfish Head beers since learning that you had a mutual Dogfish-loving college-era friend who knew Jen Chung back in the day.

Pickle Shack makes a living off of having Brooklyn's best selection of Dogfish Head beers alongside a diverse, well-done veggie menu. Said food's slyly 100% veggie. What should you order at Pickle Shack? Probably the Dogfish Head beer that makes you the coolest in the eyes of Jen Carlson. Once you've ordered that, go for the Smoked Tofu Banh Mi. Ordering anything else would be a blog-influenced mistake.

The banh mi has the standard accoutrements--sliced carrots and cliantro. Pickle Shack's tofu comes in the form of sufficiently-firm smoky/sweet/salty slices. Avocado, a fermented kimchi and aioli round it all off, inside of a baguette. All together, it works rather well as a snack, especially since ordering a Pickle Shack pickle-focused dish is way too cliché for Gothamist.

So...the scenario...based on something you read on FiPS, you bring yer love interest to Pickle Shack. You split a banh mi. At the end of the evening, things are getting partially frisky. Your "love interest" happens to be a "totally supportive perv" who's listened to you talk for thirty-plus minutes about the comments section of a Gothamist article about a guy who masturbated on the Bronx-bound 2 train at 3:45am & how the NYPD ultimately did nothing about it.

Eventually, your friend grows tipsy and tired and cuts you off with "I want you to banh mi in my Pickle Shack." You comply.

Read way more from Shawn at eatdrinksnack.com and eatdrinktaco.com.