Congratulations To The Winners of the Pork Slope Boars' Head Contest!

All last week, we ran a lil' contest with the Pork Slope dudes where we asked you, FiPS readers, to come up with the cleverest names possible for two boars heads that'll be hanging up in the soon-to-be-open bar. The Pork Slope dudes have picked their two favorites, and those lucky FiPS readers (& a guest!) will be in attendance at this Wednesday's pre-opening party.

We got a ton of great responses. My personal faves were the pair of "i used to fuck guys like you in prison" and "rick" but I wasn't choosing, so the boars will, from this point on, go by the two winning names:

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[REMINDER]: Name Some Boars! Go to a Pork Slope Party!

Screengrab via Charging Interests

G'day, ladies & germs! Are you PUMPED! I'm pumped. Patrick Swayze's birthday is less than ten days away, which can only mean one thing…PORK SLOPE IS ALMOST A REALITY. In less time than it takes to finish a seven-game NBA series, you'll be able to experience the throat-ripping, piggy awesomeness that has been promised within Pork Slope's doors.

You don’t want to wait that long though, do you? You're an impatient motherfucker, aren’t you? I hear you. If it takes me more than three minutes to fully masturbate or get a fish taco at the Brooklyn Flea, I friggin' lose it. Calm down, citizen. FiPS has your back.

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[Win This]: An Invite to Pork Slope's August 15th Pre-Opening Party

FiPS readers! The time has finally come to squeeze into your best pair of tight jeans & lace up your ass-kicking boots. Come August 18th on the late, great Patrick Swayze's birthday, Pork Slope, the ridiculously-named bar, partially inspired by the 1989 film Road House, will finally open its doors for business (hopefully you've been preparing by growing out a sweet-ass mullet over the past few months).

As mentioned when we first broke the news back on April Fools Day, Pork Slope is the newest venture from Dale Talde, David Massoni and John Bush, AKA the Talde crew. A casual bar designed in the spirit of bars that they'd want to hang out in, it will include pitchers of beer, a pool table & a decidedly pork-laden menu of bar food.

Since we love you guys and want you to be as cool as humanly possible, we've put together a lil' contest that will grant TWO lucky FiPS readers a ticket (and one for a guest!) into Pork Slope's August 15th pre-opening party. If you recall from our initial announcement about the place, they're planning on making said party a raucous event wherein at least one person will head off into the night in a squad car. After all, that's how Swayze would’ve wanted it.

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Tea Lounge Heads East...WAY East

Left image via www.streetlegalplay.wordpress.com

In early May, we learned that Park Slope coffee & baked goods-slinging breeder/freelancer hangout The Tea Lounge (who've seen themselves go from three locations to a single one on Union St over the past decade), have plans to start franchising the Tea Lounge name. Owner Jonathan Spiel, who has built The Tea Lounge into a "community" since opening a dozen years back, feels he has a unique franchise model in a café that engenders this community spirit, with entertainment as a healthy part of the mix.

Last week, we finally learned of the first franchise location in the expanding Tea Lounge empire. Where would it be? Willyburg? Perhaps an up & coming NYC neighborhood like Sunnyside, Queens? How about someplace hip on the West Coast: Portland or Olympia, perhaps?

Nope. Not even close, Maynard. Instead, The Tea Lounge is pulling a lil' Sex and The Shitty II & heading to the Middle East! That's right. As was first reported last week, Mohammed al Arbash, a Kuwaiti businessman, will be opening the first Tea Lounge franchise in a Kuwait City mall. OBVIOUSLY.

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I Guess It's OK to Care About the Nets Now

Photo via Brooklyn Borough President's Office

Today is a SUPER IMPORTANT DAY in FiPS history! Unfortunately, it's probably not for the reason you were hoping. We're NOT being purchased by Park Slope Snatch Patch. Sorry.

Get this...it's a SUPER IMPORTANT DAY for a TOTALLY SPORTS-RELATED REASON. That's right...SPORTS!

Today we're going to talk about the Brooklyn Nets without (mostly) acting like whiney lil' bitches & swiping at the low-hanging fruit that is the Nets' monstrosity of an arena & history of ineptitude...SUPER IMPORTANT DAY.

For most of the past decade, hoops fans here in NYC haven't had shit to get excited about. Sure for a brief moment last year it looked like the Knicks were worth our attention. That dream died quickly along with Jeremy Lin's knees & Amare Stoudemire's temper. As for the Nets, well...they haven't been exciting since the Jason Kidd heyday of the early oughts, making them an easy target for anyone with a pulse & an opinion.

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