Reality Wedding Couple In Da Hood

Image via NYDailyNews.comPark Slope geek culture couple Sara Velencia and Vince Eaton were down on their luck this past summer. He was unemployed and she was interning for $7.50 an hour. They weren’t able to shop at Union Market or go to Talde for dinner. That’s how bad it was. They were in love and going to have a wedding. What’s a lovelorn poverty-stricken but industrious couple to do to pay for such an event? Buy all their wedding supplies from Save On 5^th? Crash a wedding at The Grand Prospect Hall and claim it as their own? Apply to reality wedding show casting calls? Bingo.

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Lot’s O’ Local Shit at New Whole Foods Opening Today

The new Whole Foods on the outskirts of Park Slope seems to be embracing local small businesses (the way my creepy uncle used to embrace me, but that’s not what this is about). Here’s a bunch that’s you’ll be able to get your grubby hands on starting today:

NYCutlery:

Brooklyn guy, Christ Harth built some of the store’s working counter and tabletops using reclaimed wood from RE-CO BKLYN. He makes custom cutting boards and knives and he’ll be in the store to sharpen your blades for 5 bucks a pop most days. Good news for the teenage girls of Park Slope who are going through their cutting phase.

Van Leeuwen Artisan Ice Cream from Greenpoint & Steve’s Ice Cream from Williamsburg:

They’ll be lots of vegan pints of the Van Leeuwen stuff for people who don’t like yumminess. Steve’s will have a few new extra flavors just for the Gowanus store. Toxic Sludge Fudge. Yum!

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Holiday Party In The Park For Your Four-Legged Bitch This Saturday

Image via atlantic.com/kevindooley/flickrIf you have a mutt, you are always up early, dragging her along Prospect Park West in her booties and couture sweater to take her first dump of the day. In a comatose pre-coffee haze you gently scoop her hot mess up in a flimsy bag and head back home carrying it like a turd cocktail on a tray praying that you’ll soon come upon a neighbor’s trash to fling it into.

Why not make this Saturday AM a little more festive? From 8-10 AM bring your four-legged friend to Prospect Park’s Long Meadow beside the Picnic House for the annual Howl-a-Day Gathering sponsored by FIDO and prepare to paaaarty with your pup.

Dogs are encouraged to dress in festive attire. They’ll be gathering around for a holiday sing-a-long of holiday favorites w/ dog-centric lyrics. I can only assume that will include Ruff Ryders, “Holiday” with lyrics like “Sleep on the floor, catch me right next to the dog. I'm Holiday Styles, and that's what the weaponry for”. That kind of thing. Ya know, Brooklyn Style.

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Tree Boycott: X-Mas Tree Co & Community Garden at Odds

Somebody at the The Brooklyn Bear’s Pacific Street Community Garden is not happy with the dudes selling Christmas trees on the sidewalk along side the garden on Flatbush Avenue. The protests scrawled on the sidewalk read (among other things) “BEARS GARDEN ASKS YOU NOT TO SUPPORT THIS TREE CO” and “BOYCOTT THIS TREE COMPANY.”

When one of the tree sellers, Guillaume, saw that the writing had caught my attention, he approached and asked “You want to know who wrote that?” Without skipping a beat, he proceeded to explain that someone from the adjacent garden had just been by to harass them for selling their trees on the sidewalk.

Guillaume took a moment out of his duties to give FIPS a little creepy scoop: This guy who visited with his girlfriend had threatened to burn the business down. The would-be arsonist reportedly said, “If you guys don't move, I'm going to set fire to your business.” WTF FIPSters! That’s some flamin’ fightin’ words, and trees are known to burn. Excuse me while I get in the fetal position and suck my thumb. To quote Linus Van Pelt in A Charlie Brown Christmas, “Christmas is not only getting too commercial, it’s getting too dangerous.”

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Can A New Scarf Company Capture Park Slope’s Essence?

The future of scarves is in Brooklyn, but not Park Slope… yet. The Brooklyn Block is a new scarf company that captures video of a Brooklyn location and generates a patterned scarf from it. It’s a little futuristic for my taste…a little WTF. It’s art, it’s a scarf, it just blew my mind. Namrata Vansadia, the company’s co-founder, told FIPS that she and her partner are Pratt graduates with Urban Design and Architecture / Communication Design backgrounds who reside in Clinton Hill. Their website explains the process better than I can:

“Videos of locations across neighborhoods in Brooklyn are processed in code to generate specific patterns. The generated pattern is then printed on a scarf thus reflecting colors, layers and textures of that neighborhood. The video processed in code would generate the following pattern. The generated pattern is printed on the scarf that represents colors, layers and Textures of [a particular Brooklyn hood].”

You can get one of these locally designed patterned scarves with the essence of either Fort Greene, Red Hook, Dumbo or Dekalb Market, for the not-so-low price of $49.99.

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