Wallet-Friendly Therapy: Jackie's Fifth Amendment

photo: dynamist

At first glance, you might walk into Jackie's Fifth Amendment and think, "Wow, I will probably be murdered tonight if I stay here." Then you realize you need to stop being such a little bitch. One of the few true dive bars left since the gentrification pioneers descended on Park Slope, Jackie's Fifth Amendment stands as a reminder of what the neighborhood used to be like back in the day. Take one step in the door and you're instantly transported to 1975, probably because the chairs you're sitting in are holdovers from that year. Regardless of how divey this bar may be, what it offers that is inherently unique nowadays, is a bartender that will actually listen to you, rather than judging you on your lack of ironic clothing and choice of beer. After five minutes of sitting at the bar (helmed by Fran for years), my friend and I were telling her everything about ourselves. She was shocked when I told her how much I pay for rent. She told my friend that he should break his sublease so he can move in with me. She gave us money for the jukebox and in between cigarette breaks, she told us stories from the old days. Forget fancy doctorates and high-priced bills. Head over to Jackie's for a bucket of 7oz. beers and some free therapy.

Looking for an Apartment on Craigslist is Like Taking Helen Keller Through an Obstacle Course

Well, my saga with my roommate/apartment hunting has been well documented, as every person reading this site agreed (perhaps for the first time!) that I was getting screwed when my landlord upped my rent.

So, I'm moving out.

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[FULL DISCLOSURE] Who Gives A Shit: What Do You Pay For Rent?

Long story short: my landlord is upping my rent when my lease is up in August because "that's what the market will bear," and I'm all like "I don't understand what bears have to do with anything."

What it comes down to is that I really love my apartment, and of course, the location, but I already couldn't really afford it.

Should I move?

I live off of 7th Avenue, only a few blocks from the F train stop. The new rent for the 2BR apartment is $2,700 a month.

What do you pay in rent?

This is totally personal, so comment anonymously if you want. I just want to know if I'm getting screwed.

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: THAT GUY FROM 'OZ' AT KEY FOOD

Do you like violence? "Love" between two men? More violence? Mind games? Deception? A very gay BD Wong masquerading as a priest? Well, you sick fuck, you better Netflix the entire sixth season of Oz (like I did), because it will blow your effing mind. I honestly do love the HBO drama that launched the careers of Chris Meloni (what's up, Det. Stabler?!), BD Wong and JK Simmons, as well as reintroduced the fabulous Rita Moreno (of West Side Story fame) to a new generation of fans. That is why I was so fucking pysched to be in line at Key Foods behind Terry Kinney, the guy who played the idealistic unit manager Tim McManus on the show. I played it cool and didn't say anything, because I think it would be weird to hear a young girl shriek "OMG I loved OZ so much!!!!!" while you're buying your groceries--especially since I was 11 years old when the show premiered in 1997. Inside information: Terry Kinney was buying a six pack of unidentified beer and instant mashed potatoes. Wikipedia says that he's 55, but damnnnnn Kinney don't look a day over 40.

Great Balls of Fire

Yesterday, my subway car caught fire.

Okay, maybe I'm being dramatic.

I don’t know if the car was on fire, or if the track was on fire, or if some homeless man was on fire on the platform. What I DO know is that there was a fire somewhere near me.

I’m not prone to panicking, but when riding on the subway, I have very little confidence that my conductor (who can barely put together a coherent sentence) will be in control of the situation (ie: the GIGANTIC BLAZING FIRE).

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