Does Park Slope Got Talent?

Howie Mandel once had little fly larvae grow UNDER HIS SKIN. As a child, some crazy-ass mutant alien fly impregnated him with babies and they actually grew, requiring a doctor to freeze (some) of them to death. His Mom scraped the rest out over a few more weeks. My Mom would have been saying the rosary and bathing me in Holy Water (El Diablo!).  So it is no surprise he is a germaphobe.  Why he thinks America has any talent (except for getting fat, then getting diabetes, and keeping the Kardashians employed) I have no idea. But he and the AGT (That’s America’s Got Talent, for you non-hollywood types) are returning to NYC next week to try their best to find those of you that don’t suck at anything.

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Cool or Not Cool: The Brunch Jerks

https://talkforchange.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/funny-messy-baby-2-575x417.jpgWe here at the FIPS media empire have often covered the brunch scene in our little nirvana of a barrio, and not once have we called the attendees of these drinking luaus a bunch of jerks.  At least I think so. Other words, yes. But jerks? Never! That indicates a level of douchiness we usually reserve for entitled yuppies, who in their own awesome bro-ness like to kick kids off of soccer fields so they can pretend they are still at the U in the quad being younger versions of the assholes they have become. But I digress.  While there is absolutely no shortage of brunch fuckery in Manhattan, I like to think that we are spared the horror of watching the bro-ho crowd barf[AJ1]  their way through college.  Instead we saunter into our normal food troughs and peck at an organic egg brioche while little Gulliver and Wren study Ilokano in the double-wide stroller blocking the door.  So what do you think? Is Brunch for Jerks, Jerkettes, and little Jerkies?

FIPS CARES: Help Brooklyn Bike Patrol Get New T-Shirts

BBP founder JayRuiz. Image via Facebook

I knew when I heard the Batman ringback tone on the phone of Jay Ruiz that I was going to have a fun conversation.  Jay is The Man behind the Brooklyn Bike Patrol, a free service that escorts female Brooklynites home from train stations, 7 days a week, as well as offering escorts from homes, restaurants etc. Jay started the service in 2011 after a string of attacks on women in Park Slope and nearby neighborhoods. He has been at it since, despite a heart attack that slowed him down for, oh, I dunno, 2 minutes? He is a bundle of energy who eads an all-volunteer effort that has grown in size since its inception.

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Live Here, Get A Free Car

When I moved into my luxury digs during the great Snowmageddon of 2010, I had to buy my own fridge for Casa De Wookie. Along with my bed, TV, and hipster glasses, I spent nearly $300.  Add to that another $5,999,700.00 USD and I could have had this pad just around the corner from Konditori on 5th.

Under construction forever by NYC standards, the newest creation by BKGreenStone has finally arrived! Time to launch your Kickstarter for this personal paradise, all you BA in Puppetry majors. While the neighbors, some of whom have lived in PS for 60 years(!) lament the change to the hood, I welcome the madness. I imagine the streets will soon be lined with gold, and that will surely make the neighbors who like to play music at maximum volume from their car stereos be more respectful of the People With More Money™. 

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[What You Should Order At...] Bella Gioia

See that picture above? It’s a salad. A scrumptious, orgasmic salad. Prosciutto-wrapped Romaine with cheese, figs, and thick balsamic goodness. I could have licked the plate, and for me that is the best lagniappe from a chef.

Bella Gioia enters the Park Slope food competition with a newly built space at 4th and Union, a corner that has recently been getting attention by foodies for the new options in dining (Dino BBQ, Taco Santo, Wangs). The menu is Sicilian with a modern twist, with a seasonal menu that will soon feature fresh ingredients grown next door at the new community garden. Chef Nico is the brains behind the menu. Schooled in Manhattan with an apprenticeship and training in Italy, he is doing a wicked job of taking traditional comfort food built on locally sourced ingredients, incorporating some molecular gastronomy, and handing it over to our eager blabber mouths for pleasure and enjoyment. Arugula Pesto Gemelli? Gorgeous.  Ravioli in Tomato Fondue Sauce? Melts your cold-heart. Seriously good eats, people.

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