Park Slope Craigslist Blotter

EVENT: Yogi Skate Dance

Huh. This is weird.  Tonight for $30 at Skate Brooklyn you can take a long yoga class, then skateboarding clinic and then it's a dance party. I have a date tonight and no idea where to go but this seems way too athletic. And sweaty. You've got to smell bad after this right?

FREE: Outdoor Cat Shelter

This thing looks crazy busted up. I guess it stays outside though, so whatever? I don't know. Seems like a good place for rats too. What's to stop them from climbing inside? Maybe you can fill it with poison gas. Make it one big rat trip. Clean out whole neighborhoods with it.

MISSED CONNECTION - Man In Uniform

Roger, that's a special forces tattoo. Who doesn't love a man in uniform? Probably ladies in uniform. They're sick of them. These two met at Union Hall. He's British. She's…Alex? They might both be named Alex. It's not very clear.

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WHASSUP: ROCK THE SLOPE EDITION

When’s the last time you went out and listened to a band? I’m not talking huge arenas where you shook it to Beyoncé, or watched that Hicksville hussy dry hump a wrecking ball. I’m talking quality tunes by local bands in venues small enough that you may just catch a rocker’s sweat droplet on the end of your nose—music the way it should be.

Leave work early, call a sitter, arrange a dog walker, and get out the house! We only walk this walk once as far as I know. Why not fill it with mellifluous tunes, good friends, hearts full of love, and evenings jam packed with shit I tell you to do.

Whassup kemosabes? This is WHASSUP:

Thursday, 7/24, Reformed Whores Present Cirque Du Ho-Leil, Union Hall: Ummmm, what? I know Cirque does a lot of pole work, but this is ridiculous. Though I’m not quite sure what to expect, I can just about guarantee you’re in store for something you’ve never seen before. $10, 7:30pm doors, 8pm show

Friday, 7/25, The DeLorean Sisters, Royal Palms Suffleboard Club: This throwback group takes the 80’s and the early 20^th century, puts them in a blender on high, and comes out with a sound that can only be described as Michael Jackson meets the Great Depression. Roll on over to Union—have they made a longboard style Hoverboard yet?   FREE ENTRY, 8pm

Friday, 7/25, All Boy/All Girl, The Bell House: There’s a special place in my heart for this band because a former voice student of mine—to whom I’d like to think I imparted great brilliance—is one of their vocalists.  Self-described as an “avant-pop collective”, the band takes pop music and spins it in a way only achieved by a string section and infusing a jazzy undercurrent. Oh yeah…and they’re opening for the Haden Triplets. Nice! $15, 8pm doors, 9pm Show

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9st Laundrette Cleaners to close at end of the month

Another one bites the dust. 

After nearly 20 years in business, 9st Laundrette Cleaners (334 9th St, between 5th and 6th Ave) will have its last wash and dry on Monday, July 28. Its reason for closing is a common one: increased rent. In this case, an increase so high (more than double) that no laundromat (let alone small business) will ever be able to sustain itself in that area. 

If you've ever been, then you know just how sad this is. Mr. and Mrs. Lee are incredibly wonderful people. Polite, hard-working, positive, accommodating — they treat every one of their customers (myself included) with the utmost kindness and respect. The space itself isn't the most high-end or fancy, but dammit if Mr. and Mrs. Lee don't keep that place spotless. And whether you do your laundry there or drop off for wash/dry/fold service, Mr. and Mrs. Lee always make the über annoying process of "laundry" not seem like a chore. Of all the wash/dry spots in the area, 9st Laundrette Cleaners is by far the best. 

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Gowanus Rises: Brown Goo Oozes Forth from Drains in the Area

Images via dcrainmaker.com and gothamist.comOne day the Gowanus Canal will spew forth something truly awful that’ll most likely want to kill us. And it looks like we’re getting closer to that day. A “brown goo” is oozing up through the drains in buildings around the toxic canal. The “brown goo” is mostly likely sewage, of course.

The Bell House was one of the earliest known victims; during a book reading on July 2nd, the mysterious “brown goo” rose up through one of their toilets causing a backup. Other businesses attacked by the “brown goo” include Family Car Service and the Brooklyn Colony bar on Fourth Avenue. And, of course, the “brown goo” is after us in our home too. In some cases the sewage caused up to $50,000 of damage.

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