WHASSUP: ROCK THE SLOPE EDITION
Jonny | Thursday, July 24, 2014 at 12:00PM 
When’s the last time you went out and listened to a band? I’m not talking huge arenas where you shook it to Beyoncé, or watched that Hicksville hussy dry hump a wrecking ball. I’m talking quality tunes by local bands in venues small enough that you may just catch a rocker’s sweat droplet on the end of your nose—music the way it should be.
Leave work early, call a sitter, arrange a dog walker, and get out the house! We only walk this walk once as far as I know. Why not fill it with mellifluous tunes, good friends, hearts full of love, and evenings jam packed with shit I tell you to do.
Whassup kemosabes? This is WHASSUP:
Thursday, 7/24, Reformed Whores Present Cirque Du Ho-Leil, Union Hall: Ummmm, what? I know Cirque does a lot of pole work, but this is ridiculous. Though I’m not quite sure what to expect, I can just about guarantee you’re in store for something you’ve never seen before. $10, 7:30pm doors, 8pm show
Friday, 7/25, The DeLorean Sisters, Royal Palms Suffleboard Club: This throwback group takes the 80’s and the early 20th century, puts them in a blender on high, and comes out with a sound that can only be described as Michael Jackson meets the Great Depression. Roll on over to Union—have they made a longboard style Hoverboard yet? FREE ENTRY, 8pm
Friday, 7/25, All Boy/All Girl, The Bell House: There’s a special place in my heart for this band because a former voice student of mine—to whom I’d like to think I imparted great brilliance—is one of their vocalists. Self-described as an “avant-pop collective”, the band takes pop music and spins it in a way only achieved by a string section and infusing a jazzy undercurrent. Oh yeah…and they’re opening for the Haden Triplets. Nice! $15, 8pm doors, 9pm Show
Saturday, 7/26, Sprocket, The Rock Shop: Sprocket, along with The Third Wheel Band and Psychodelicatessen (a bithcin’ fucking name), are geared to rock your socks off in this evening of music that combines rock, funk, and some Americana. $8-$10, 7:30pm doors, 8pm show
Sunday, 7/27, The Ice Cream Takedown, The Bellhouse: So I can pay 20 bucks and eat a shit-ton of ice cream? I’ll do it. Word to the wise: I once travelled to Penn State where they have a creamery. I made the terrible choice of mixing beer, ice cream, and cheese curd because I’m a grown-ass man and I can do what I want. LEARN from my mistakes. $20, 2pm
Monday, 7/28, Dive Comedy, Freddy’s Bar: What do you get when you combine local musicians, comedy, and a neighborhood-loved dive bar? Probably drunk and pregnant, but you also get an night full of music, laughs, and booze. Utopia. FREE, 9pm
Tuesday, 7/29, Tuesday Trivia, Johnny Mack’s Bar and Grill: Smarten up, dumb-dumbs and test your knowledge at this neighborhood trivia night that offers some legit prizes. We’re talking much sweeter than a free shot of Firefly. No Cover, 8pm
Wednesday, 7/30, Circque Du Soleil:Varekai, Barclay Center: Now this is no Cirque du “Ho-Leil”, but it will have to do for your mid week entertainment. I saw a cirque show a couple years ago and the dude kept falling off of the high wire—no joke. Hopefully they’ve practiced up since then and will amaze you and yours with death defying feats, hard to follow story lines, and creepy-than-usual clowns. Tickets start around $60, 7:30pm
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