FIPS had a cronut...and didn't even have to wait on line.

Photo credit: @agreenberg via Twitter

Look, I know the cronut craze is totally ridiculous, and has nothing to do with Park Slope, but when a friend put the word out on Facebook that he had cronuts to spare, I figured it was my duty to throw myself at his mercy, beg for his leftovers, and share the experience with you. Also, nothing else of import happened this weekend, so this is all I've got.

Did you know that waiting on a ridiculous 2 hour line at 6:30 a.m. is not the only way to get your hands on a cronut? Apparently, you can call on Mondays at 11 a.m. to pre-order these tasty morsels. From the Dominque Ansel bakery website:

Every Monday at 11am, we open up pre-orders by phone ONLY to the bakery at 212.219.2773. Please keep in mind we are taking pre-orders for up to two weeks in advance. Currently pre-order lists are full. The limit per person for pre-orders is 6 Cronuts™. If the phone is busy or has a “mailbox if full” message, we are simply on the call with another customer, please do call back. Pre-order lists fill up very quickly, and we recommend this only as a last option. We can only take one pre-order per call.

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Whassup: Independence Day Edition

via imgur.com

It's America Day, y'all! Finally, the one date on which it's totally cool to love America as much as a Fox News anchor does. That is to say, deliriously, passionately, kind-of-creepily. However you express your America love -- quoting Bill Pullman, draping your naked body in the Stars and Stripes, or just flat out love-fucking a bald eagle -- this day is for you. Welcome to Whassup: Independence Day Edition:

* Thursday, July 4: Back to the Beach, Rockaway Beach: Sixpoint and something called My Social List (which I presume is a communist plot) are hosting the first of Rockaway Beach's free summer parties. The concert also celebrates Rockaway's speedy recovery from Hurricane Sandy. In any event, it's a good excuse to start getting your Independence Day drunk on in the afternoon. 1pm, FREE.

* Thursday, July 4: ID4 BBQ, Freddy's: After the concert, train it back Slope-ward for Freddy's Independence Day BBQ. You can bring your own comestibles to char, or partake of the meats, veggies and soy-based products supplied and cooked by Freddy's resident grill-masters. $3 for all taps, because this is America, and you will put beer inside you. 2:20pm.

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Happy 4th of July, Y'all.

FIPS is taking a little break* for the holiday weekend. So, whether you plan to spend the next few days waving a tiny American flag, or letting your freak flag fly, get in the holiday spirit with this rad performance of our national march by the US Marine Band.

* There will still be a Whassup column tomorrow.

[What You Should Order At...] Sea Witch

Image by Park Slope Lens

WHAT YOU SHOULD ORDER AT... is a recurring column designed in kind for your opinionated asses and our lazy asses. When the mood strikes, we pick one Park Slop(ish) resto and recommend our favorite dish. Are we right? Are we wrong? YOU KNOW YOU WANNA WEIGH IN.

When I last wrote about Sea Witch just after its opening way back in early 2012, I had no idea that it'd eventually become the Brooklyn bar that I'd end up most frequenting. I mean, at the time of that first visit, the indoor fish tank & beer selection & food & tunes were relatively cool but the backyard was non-existent & shit, there are a MILLION bars in Brooklyn. Still, the backyard eventually opened & I have friends who live just around the corner & Sea Witch still has their menu of exceptionally-well-done bar food, so I kept finding my way back. Also: OTHER THAN ME, LOW DOUCHEBAG QUOTIENT.

That menu: I've more than dabbled in the burger. I've tried the clam sandwich & the oysters & the kielbasa sandwich, each on multiple occasions. They've even added tacos, but I've yet to go down that path. Still, the one dish on their menu that stands out is their Pork Schnitzel Sandwich ($7).

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H&M Opens a Second Brooklyn Location on Fulton Mall

Image via Racked via WWDIn case you weren't sure if Brooklyn was gentrified, the Swedish retailer H&M will be opening their second Brooklyn location just a mile away from the Barclay center. That's right, this fast fashion super house will be throwing a block party on Wednesday to celebrate the opening of their new 29,000 square foot space. 

Does this mean the brightly colored, cheaply made, nauseatingly trending H&M clothing will be flooding the avenues of Park Slope? No, not Park Slope. Not our anti-the-man neighborhood which is dedicated to fair-trade, ethically made products? 

But, probably. H&M is the Starbucks of clothes. We all want to buy hand made clogs from fairly paid workers in Ecuador. But truth be told, when we're in a hurry, we look to fast fashion for easy shopping, quick consumption, and the ability to buy something outrageously trendy because even if we only wear it once it was only $11.99.

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