FIPS Throwback Thursdays: Remembering Jackie's 5th

In December 2011, we posted THIS LIST of our ten (well, eleven, really) reviews on Yelp of Jackie's 5th Amendment.  Now that Jackie's is planning to close, we thought we'd repost our favorite reviews, with an update of the choicest comments from more recent reviewers.  So, here without further ado, is the reprint of that post.

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We've EXTOLLED the virtues of Jackie's 5th Amendment, before.  We've argued that Jackie's was grievously overlooked by COMPLEX when they made their LIST of definitive NYC Dive Bars. And we've CHASTISED GQ for failing to recognize the raw, unbridled genius of Jackie's (and its ilk) when penning their fucked-up and lame GUIDE TO NIGHTLIFE in Brooklyn.

FiPS isn't alone in the appreciation of Jackie's 5th Amendment. Many of the REVIEWS of Jackie's on Yelp agree with us. Also, they are hilarious. So, here, without comment (mostly), and without correction of spelling, grammar, punctuation or capitalization, are our top ten excerpted comments from Yelp reviews of Jackie's 5th Amendment:

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Ice Skating (falling on ice) Returns to Prospect Park this Winter!

People of Park Slope! Sharpen your skates and bring out your bejeweled leotards, ice skating in Prospect Park is back! Well, it’s August, but it will be back by the time you’re angry it’s so damn cold again. Just bookmark this page and pull it up in December. You’re welcome.

A mere year behind schedule and a cool $74 million spent, and the 26-acre Lakeside development in Prospect Park will be open for business by year's end.  It’s been a long time coming for space that previously housed the old Wollman Rink, as the project marks the first major renovation in the park in nearly 50 years.   With 30,000 square-feet of ice rinks and all sorts of amenities, the space will feature both an outdoor and a year-round indoor rink for all the Salchows and triple loops your heart desires.

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Cool or Not Cool: Bringing a Couch on the Subway

Photo via GothamistAs a general rule, I consider few subway faux pas more egregious than using it to move furniture. Which is exactly what Bed-Stuy resident, Ty, did on a Saturday with the help of an enabling friend. Ty bought herself a $30 couch at a Gowanus prop store and, unable to afford any reasonable mode of transportation, hopped on the G train at 4th Avenue.

"We had to get it through the emergency door, and then carry it up two flights of stairs. Which was brutal," Ty told Gothamist. Even a curmudgeon such as myself can’t help but appreciate the chutzpah of carrying a three person couch to the highest point in the entire NYC subway system. When she arrived at her final destination--now, deep under the bowels of Bed-Stuy--Ty and her friend relied on the kindness of strangers to get it back above ground. “[P]retty much everyone on the train helped us,” she said.

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VMA promos highlight Barclays' subway accessibility

In the latest promo for the MTV Video Music Awards, Katy Perry pops out of a manhole and heads down a set of (fake Hollywood) subway stairs, presumably to catch the D train to Barclays. This was preceded by another promo with Miley Cyrus partying in a (fake Hollywood) subway tunnel, presumably because she's edgy now, and edgy people to don't ride the train, they just walk through the tunnels. Because that's safe.

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Pavilion Theater Opens Café -- Smart Move or Destined for Disaster?

Where to begin? My eyeballs exploded when I saw the signage for the Pavillion Theater’s new “Living Room Café”.   It’s as if a bunch of remedial graphic designers got into a big fight over which font, style or colors to use and then just said “ah, fuck it, let’s just throw up all over the place”.

The little café is right next to the theater, and I was told by an usher that the food is made on the 2^nd floor of the theater in the old café space (remember that???) and brought downstairs. I was also informed that in the near future, patrons will be able to bring their food into the theater to enjoy dinner and a movie.  I usually don’t feel comfortable moving air in and out of my lungs in this particular theater; I don’t know how I’ll fancy adding Tuna Salad and Chocolate soufflé to the atmosphere. 

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