WHO GIVES A SHIT: COMING SOON TO PARK SLOPE?

Ok, take note:

NONE OF THIS SHIT is actually coming to Park Slope...Y-E-T.

But, hello future business owners: WE NEED THIS STUFF! ALL OF IT!

So, yeah: here's my list of restaurants/businesses/services that *should* be in Park Slope, but are not:

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Who Gives A Shit: Could You Live Anywhere Else?

OK, in case you didn't notice that Meredith (and Allison) were pretty much writing alllll the posts around here for the past couple of days, they were. Cause yeah: my ass was in Austin for SXSW getting ed-u-macated about the internet-n-shit.

Anyway, my little sidetrip to Austin got me thinking: would it be possible for me to ever live there? Like outside of NYC? Somewhere else?

For me, my answer is pretty much no. NYC has ruined me for any other city (with the exception of mebbe mebbe Los Angeles). And I'm not counting anywhere else outside of the U.S., cause duh: I could totally move to Florence with no problemo tomorrow and not even think twice about it.

But I'm wondering what's up with you guys: Could you/would you live anywhere else? If so, where?

WHO GIVES A SHIT: ARE YOU CUH-RAY-ZAY?

The verdict is in: New York is #7 of 57 major metro areas on The Daily Beast's list of craziest cities.  Highly scientific ranking including number of shrinks per capita, stress, eccentricity (that's you, Park Slope), and of course how hard you are hitting the bottle...in a bar with your baby.  Nope, FIPS will never let that one go.  We're too crazy, I guess.  Just the facts:

#7, New York

Psychiatrists per capita: 4 out of 57
Stress: 19 out of 57
Eccentricity: 4 out of 57
Drinking: 49 (tie) of out 57

So what do you clinically insane, self-medicating, shrink's-couch-living fucks think - does this sound about right?  Or are you too busy mixing Ativan and Glenlivet to even coherently respond in the comments?

Who Gives A Shit: Best Coffee in Park Slope?

photo: TONYTONY just named the 10 best coffee spots in NYC and both Cafe Grumpy and Gorilla Coffee were on the list.

Yes? No? Any die hard Ozzie's lovers out there who are all pissed now? What about Cafe Regular?

Please discuss.

Who Gives A Shit: What Color Is Your parachute?

Anecdotally, I can say that I have never known so many unemployed people. Sometimes it feels like I've timed my adulthood to coincide with recessions, but this one is pretty bad.

Every time I run into somebody lateley, they seem to have lost their job. Formerly clean-cut neighbors are suddenly sporting "funemployment goatees." Business chic has been replaced with sweat pants at morning school drop off. Legions of former magazine editors are now writing their novels...or blogging. And there are way more folks in Long Meadow every morning for off leash hours in Prospect Park.

I've lost count of how many middle-classed people I know who are living on the verge, cashing out IRAs, and going without health insurance; white bread people in True Religion jeans buying groceries at the Park Slope  Food Coop with quarter collections or EBT cards (formerly known as food stamps); parents raiding
their kids' piggy banks and wallets (okay, that one's me and the 11-year-old *may* actually have a future as a moneylender; as the friggin interest rates are killing me).

Anyway, this whole thing really feels ever so slightly apocalyptic.

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