WHO GIVES A SHIT: Do You See A Shrink?

Or have you seen a shrink?

Or do you need to see a shrink?

How crazy are you, Park Slope?

And before you start bitching at me in the comments about how insensitive it is for me to call people who go to see shrinks crazy, duh: I'M CRAZY TOO. I'm a neurotic Long Island Jew...I've had a shrink since I could do long division.

But feel free to go stealth anon in the comments if you wanna remain an undercover brotha or sista.

WHO GIVES A SHIT: Let's Talk Neighbors

Q o' the day: What's up with your neighbors?

Allison posted last week about how her suburb spy doesn't know shit about her neighbors, as opposed to when they mingled and cuddled and whatever in the Slope. But, uh, I'm coming up on a year in my new place, and of the ten units on my hall, I've essentially only met three neighbors, one of whom is my super (and a necessary contact for bug-killing).

I also have no idea who lives on the floor above me--though I do know if I ever meet the person who lives directly above, I'd like her to stop rearranging her furniture at four in the fucking morning every day.

So, do you know your neighbors? Do you care? Are you enjoying a life of solitude or do rad people live around you?

Photo: Park Slope Lens

WHO GIVES A SHIT: AM I THE ONLY ONE PAYING $1 MILLION TO LIVE ON TOP OF A DIRT MOUND?

We live in Park Slope, so it's safe to say that we've all been seduced by brownstones, blooming trees, and apple-cheeked children being carted around in strollers.  Wait, we've been seduced by children?  That's not what I meant (OR IS IT?). 

In any event, living in such a beautiful, gentrified neighborhood has its drawbacks.  Mainly, one: the motherfucking rent.

But, you can justify certain things, right?  You pay a lot of money, but everything's pretty great, right? 

WRONG. 

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WHO GIVES A SHIT: How BALLER Are You, Park Slope?

Babies, BREEDERS, BALLERS, blah, blah, blah. Let's find out how badass you actually are, PS.

1. When was the last time you smoked pot?

2. When was the last time you had a one-night stand? (or, if you're married/coupled: do you have any sex toys?).

3. When was the last time you were out on a weeknight past 2am?

Obvs feel free to go stealth anon in the comments if you're a total pussy.

IS PARK SLOPE ATHLETIC?

I’m sure most of you are blissfully unaware of the Park Slope co-ed soccer league that took place in the dilapidated shit sack of a gym at Xavier High school this winter. The season came to an uneventful close last week as the undefeated ‘In One Ear And Out Your Mothers’ fell to the ‘NYC Wanderers.’ Despite  kicking major ass the entire season IOEAOYM happened to lose the ONE game that mattered, crushing their hopes and dreams of receiving the highly coveted plastic ass trophy.

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