Whassup: Taxed in Park Slope Edition

Why, yes, that is early '90's WWF wrestler, Irwin R. Schyster (via photobucket)

You know what they say about death and taxes: when you find out how much you owe, you'll want to kill yourself. Anywhoo, with this most painful financial day upon us, we here at FiPS have a jam-packed Whassup to distract you. Welcome to Whassup: Taxed in Park Slope Edition:

* Thursday, April 12: Hansen-Lowe Benefit, Union Pool: What on earth could get me to pimp another Billyburg show? Well, this one dials down the insufferability as local bands put their hipster cred toward the unironic cause of helping out some locals in need. Bands The Dixons, Amen Dunes, Spectre Folk, and the Naked Heroes play to help out favorite barkeep Jeff Hansen, and wife Siobahn Lowe, who faced a series of major surgeries --and major bills -- recently. 8pm, $15 minimum donation.

* Friday, April 13: Cajun Feast, Greenpoint Soup Kitchen: Keep that good karma flowing right through Friday the 13th by eating for a cause. That's right. Building a big, fat ass can be a mitzvah. Who knew? This cajun feast of shrimp etoufee, cajun fried chicken, gumbo and more benefits the Greenpoint Soup Kitchen & Food Pantry. 8pm-11pm, $40 suggested donation.

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Whassup: Pretty Sounds Edition

via mrjsmusicroom.com

Park Slope people: summer has reared its sweaty head, with the first of many Celebrate Brooklyn shows already announced. It's officially time to lament the pastiness of your winter skin and prepare to turn it a beautiful bronze and/or lobster red at outdoor concerts. In anticipation, FiPS brings you a music-heavy events listing. Train your ears for the festivals in the comfort of a dark bar with Whassup: Pretty Sounds Edition:

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Whassup: March Meh-ness Edition

via dailygumboot.ca

The forecast for Saturday is rain and low 50's, so I guess we're out like a sort of pussy lion? But really, the important thing about the end of March is that it's Final Four weekend. I think we can all agree that a neighborhood that votes on voting to ban organic products from certain countries and has spots to buy cappuccino every two feet is totally a neighborhood full of jocks. But, yeah, if you're not into the basketball this weekend, there's plenty else to do. Welcome to Whassup: March Meh-ness Edition:

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Whassup: Summer Already? Edition

Is everyone else feeling the glow of post-Seasonal Affective Disorder relative non-depression!? Yeah! With Daylight Saving's Time back, and the most recent swing of 70-degree, Global Warming niceness, it's all my neurons can do but almost have normal serotonin levels. It's pretty all-right, and it makes me want to get out there and enjoy Park Slope's numerous non-Googamooga, actually well-organized events. Welcome to Whassup: Summer Already? Edition:

* Thursday, March 22: Gowanus Cleanup Meeting, Red Hook-Miccio Community Center (Gym): You can't spell Superfund without Superfun. I just wanted an excuse to say that, and this was it. Anywhoo, the EPA is holding a "public information meeting" to hear your input about cleaning up the Gowanus. After Bloomberg was thwarted in his attempt to protect those helpless Gowanus carcinogens from the big, bad EPA, it's your chance to voice an opinion. Come armed with your favorite synonyms for fecal contaminant. 7pm

* Saturday, March 24: Cash Mob Day, Tea Lounge: So, "Cash Mobs" are totally a thing now, combining the power of hipstery, mass gatherings and hipstery consumer-spending power to actually do something relatively good -- support local businesses. Saturday is "National Cash Mob Day," and Amy Cortese, author of Locavesting, is leading Brooklyn's first such mass feelgood purchasathon. Meeting at Tea Lounge to support a local, Slope business (to be named!). 4pm.

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Whassup: (Mostly) St. Paddy's Day Edition

via photobucket

Ah, St. Patrick's Day. I love this holiday. I don't love so much going out on it into the craziness, but I love the concept: a day to celebrate a tiny little country known for green hills, booze, and literature. Feckin' a. Love it. Welcome to Whassup: (Mostly) St. Paddy's Day Edition:

* Thursday, March 15: Free Booze, Brooklyn Mag Party: Celebrating one year of print-magazine success (which, I'm pretty sure is the wave of the future), Brooklyn Magazine will be getting you drunk for free. That's how much they want you to read their shit. They will give you free alcohol. It's not a bad idea. Hey, if anyone wants to read a short story, I'll buy you a shot. (Kidding. Unless you would.). Anyway, this is at Invisible Dog Art Center in Carroll Gardens. 7:30-9:30pm. RSVP here.

* Friday, March 16: The Rub, Bell House: The refugees from Southpaw's abrupt demise last month continue to come in from the brief wilderness, finding new homes amongst Park Slope's venues. The Bell House is the most natural alternative, and the latest convert is "The Rub," Southpaw's signature hip-hop club night. Get your jam on and pour some out (not literally) for the 'paw. 10pm, $10.

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