Whassup: Taxed in Park Slope Edition

Why, yes, that is early '90's WWF wrestler, Irwin R. Schyster (via photobucket)

You know what they say about death and taxes: when you find out how much you owe, you'll want to kill yourself. Anywhoo, with this most painful financial day upon us, we here at FiPS have a jam-packed Whassup to distract you. Welcome to Whassup: Taxed in Park Slope Edition:

* Thursday, April 12: Hansen-Lowe Benefit, Union Pool: What on earth could get me to pimp another Billyburg show? Well, this one dials down the insufferability as local bands put their hipster cred toward the unironic cause of helping out some locals in need. Bands The Dixons, Amen Dunes, Spectre Folk, and the Naked Heroes play to help out favorite barkeep Jeff Hansen, and wife Siobahn Lowe, who faced a series of major surgeries --and major bills -- recently. 8pm, $15 minimum donation.

* Friday, April 13: Cajun Feast, Greenpoint Soup Kitchen: Keep that good karma flowing right through Friday the 13th by eating for a cause. That's right. Building a big, fat ass can be a mitzvah. Who knew? This cajun feast of shrimp etoufee, cajun fried chicken, gumbo and more benefits the Greenpoint Soup Kitchen & Food Pantry. 8pm-11pm, $40 suggested donation.

* Saturday, April 14: Neutral Uke Hotel, Rock Shop: It doesn't get much more Brooklyn than this, folks. At least, not much more 2012-hipster-gentrified Brooklyn than this: indie godhead Jeff Mangum's, um, mangum opus "The Aeroplane Over the Sea" played entirely on the most precious of instruments, the ukulele. And if that's not Brooklyn enough, check the band photo: yep, beards and/or bushy mustaches. These guys are set. Order a microbrew while you're at it. (I scoff, but you know I'm probably there.) 8pm Doors, $10.

* Sunday, April 15: Tommy Stinson, Union Hall: Founding bassist for the Replacments, now plucking the low notes for Guns 'n' Roses and Soul Asylum, Tommy Stinson plays his solo stuff tonight. If he can somehow combine all those bands into one sound -- actually, let's hope he doesn't do that. And how's this for "aww" -- a portion of Stinson's solo album sales go toward schools in Haiti. 10pm, $10.

* Tuesday, April 17: Maude StorySLAM, Tea Lounge: FiPS' own coffee-shop-dwelling maven of narration, Kerri Doherty, once again hosts her monthly story slam. Featured guest  Selena Coppock, comedian and author of The New Rules for Blondes, will share something funny and possibly about blonde-ness. But the stage is really for the rest of you -- put your name in a hat, and tell your tale to a friendly, welcoming audience. 7:30pm, FREE.

* Wednesday, April 18: World Book Night w/Nicole Krauss, Community Bookstore: Park Slope's indie bookstore celebrates World Book Night with special guest Krauss, author of "History of Love." Oh, you know this gonna get CRAZY. 7pm-9pm, FREE.

* Thursday, April 19: Annie Sing-Along, Bell House: Wait, when will the sun come out again? I forgot, too. Let's remember together with the catchiest little ditties about filthy orphans this side of Oliver!. 7:30pm Doors, $10.

* Thursday, April 19: BK Tattoo Anniversary, Littlefield: On the other end of the wholesomeness spectrum, Bell House neighbor Littlefield hosts the 10-year celebration of Brooklyn Tattoo and Urban Folk Art with a slate of bands and DJs. Burnish up that misshapen Chinese symbol on you ankle. 7pm Doors, $5 suggested donation.

* Ongoing: New Classes! Brooklyn Brainery: The Carroll Gardens learnporium recently announced another new set of classes. Pimp your conversation-having abilities with fresh knowledge on Samuel Beckett, America at war, monetary policy, and more. Various times, $10-$30.

* SUMMER: BK Bridge Dance Parties: Brokelyn has the word -- free Brooklyn Bridge dance parties are back for the summer, with the first, a funk party, announced for May 10. Oh, yes. The summer free fun and flirtfests are upon us. Unpack your best shy smiles and hip gyrations from winter storage.