Whassup: (Mostly) St. Paddy's Day Edition

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Ah, St. Patrick's Day. I love this holiday. I don't love so much going out on it into the craziness, but I love the concept: a day to celebrate a tiny little country known for green hills, booze, and literature. Feckin' a. Love it. Welcome to Whassup: (Mostly) St. Paddy's Day Edition:

* Thursday, March 15: Free Booze, Brooklyn Mag Party: Celebrating one year of print-magazine success (which, I'm pretty sure is the wave of the future), Brooklyn Magazine will be getting you drunk for free. That's how much they want you to read their shit. They will give you free alcohol. It's not a bad idea. Hey, if anyone wants to read a short story, I'll buy you a shot. (Kidding. Unless you would.). Anyway, this is at Invisible Dog Art Center in Carroll Gardens. 7:30-9:30pm. RSVP here.

* Friday, March 16: The Rub, Bell House: The refugees from Southpaw's abrupt demise last month continue to come in from the brief wilderness, finding new homes amongst Park Slope's venues. The Bell House is the most natural alternative, and the latest convert is "The Rub," Southpaw's signature hip-hop club night. Get your jam on and pour some out (not literally) for the 'paw. 10pm, $10.

* St. Paddy's Day:
   
    * Banjos and Crooners, Jalopy: Brooklyn country mainstays Alex Battles & the Whiskey Rebellion and The Flanks celebrate the day of the Irish with some classic, roots music. You can trace the lineage of American roots to Irish folk if you'd like. Or you can just do some River Dance in your cowboy boots. (Note: don't do that.) 9pm, $10.

    * Ginger Boobs, Bell House: The Slope's go-to source for nekedness, Wasabassco Burlesque knows the best part about Ireland. Not the whiskey. Not the lush, green hills. Not the impenetrable, modernist literature. It's the red-headed lasses. Come see them and their boobs at this all-redhead burlesque show. Gingers get in free! 8pm, $10.

    * All-Day Irish, Spike Hill: Usually, I mostly encourage Williamsburg to eat several dicks. I feel old there, and the tight jeans make my balls hurt in sympathy. But, here, this is an option if you want to do the Irish thing ALL FREAKIN' DAY. Spike Hill has St. Paddy's Day schnizz going on non-stop: Live Irish music, dancing, corned beef and cabbage, Irish breakfast -- and a bagpipe player! Does that sound annoying or fun? Your answer says a lot about you. 11am-ALL NIGHT.

    * Highland Shatners, Barbes: Sometimes, on St. Paddy's, you just want to go kitschy. Well, here you go: these guys mix Celtic Folk with 60's pop. 6:30 pm, FREE, donations suggested.

    * Rugby and Corned Beef, Black Horse: It's not an Irish pub -- in fact, it's owned and run by the dirty, British imperialists. Yet, that makes Black Horse one of the more authentic Slope spots to celebrate things Celtic. Come get knackered while Ireland takes on England on the rugby pitch. You can gnaw on corned beef specials to keep the Guinness and Jameson from doing you in too early. Rugby at 1pm.

    * Old Irish, Farrell's: But, here it is: the real, old Irish pub in Park Slope. Farrell's has been here since the '30's, and it's a gritty, red headed step child to the gentrification that's grown up around it.

* Sunday, March 18: Green Parade, Slope/Windsor Terrace: Grab a coffee, shake off that hard-earned St. Paddy's Day hangover and keep your Irish up with Brooklyn's St. Patrick's Day Parade, winding through our own Park Slope (and Windsor Terrace). This is traditional Irishing, with Irish step dancers, bagpipes, and a leprechaun cavalry (probably made that part up). Route travels from 15th St. and PPW to 7th Ave to Garfield Place and back. This year's theme is "The Intertwined Histories of Ireland & America." So, something about the Kennedys, I assume.

* Monday, March 19- Thursday, March 29: Dine-In Brooklyn, Boroughwide: We here in Park Slope like to eat. We love restaurants. We love them so much that we let half of them die just so we get new ones to try. So, Dine in Brooklyn is the closest you're gong to get to satisfying your insatiable dinner desires. Deals at almost 200 eateries, with dinner for $25 and brunch for $20.12 (get it?). Make your reservations now.