Whassup: Death of a Bird Edition

via funnyjunk.com

As I write this, Mitt Romney appears to be defeating both President Obama and Big Bird (or so a cursory glance at Twitter would have me believe). Well, then. Should this post hit the Internets tomorrow amidst a new, Romney-led world, please tell my economic future I loved it. While we mourn together, let's soothe the pain with alcohol and music (and etc.) Welcome to Whassup: Death of a Bird Edition: 

* Thursday, Oct. 4: Barack Party, Frank's: Hey, why not? You wanna soothe the sting of all the #mittzings? Call a swing state, and tell them how plutocrats make for bad public policy. Or, whatever your pitch is. At least, that way, you can say you tried on election night. 5:30pm-9pm, FREE.

* Thursday, Oct. 4-Sunday, Oct. 7: Americana Pie, Littlefield: It's a whole big festival of bluegrass, country, and folk -- more evidence that all we Brooklyn transplants miss home. Starting times vary between 7:30 and 8:30, $10 per night. 

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Whassup: Anti-Barclays Edition

Chile Pepper Fiesta

Maybe you heard about this. Tomorrow, some basketball owner or something will do some rapping at a new venue in Prospect Heights. It's apparently named after the subway stop or something? Anyway, those tickets are totally sold out, so whatever. No Jay-Z for you! Still, you might be curious to see what happens up around there once this whole Moby Dick of an arena finally gets rolling. Will Prospect Heights/Northern Park Slope instantly douchify? (Like, in a different way than they already have, I mean.) Personally, though, I recommend staying far away from there and entertaining yourself with Whassup: Anti-Barclays Edition:

* Thursday, Sept. 27: NY Burlesque Fest Turns 10, Bell House: Part of the larger 10th Annual New York Burlesque Festival, this show is all packed full of the naked. Twenty-plus breast-havers from across our fair planet will be amazing on stage for you. 8pm, $10.

* Saturday, Sept. 29: Chile Pepper Fiesta, Botanic Garden: Hot-ha-ha-hooott! *fans mouth* Come experience one of the few societally accepted forms of masochism and put all the peppers on your tongue. You can sample salsas, hot sauces, and chile-chocolate concoctions. All with Latin American music, juggling, storytelling, dancing, and more. Imagine if the Red Hot Chili Peppers were having a concert in your mouth. It's totally not like that, but I just wanted everyone to picture that for a while. 11am-6pm, $15.

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Whassup: Entitled to Fun Edition

via powerhousearena

Well, with Mitt Romney's campaign imploding deliciously over the last week or so, we liberal caricatures of Park Slope need to look elsewhere for entertainment: there're diminishing returns in a lopsided contest, after all. Luckily, there's plenty to occupy our time in this land of insufferable liberality. Welcome to Whassup: Entitled to Fun Edition:

* Through Sunday, Sept. 23: BK Book Fest: The pre-BK Book Fest happenings known as Bookend Events continue this week, culminating in the fest itself on Sunday. Oh, there're so many chances to participate in literary culture without actually having to read any books. It's amazing! There're readings galore, kitschy shit like the "Librarian Olympics" at Union Hall, and even kids' stuff, you Park Slope parents, such as a zoo party. Rumor is, they've taught a kangaroo to read. (Please note: I am starting this rumor myself.) Sunday, the whole shit goes down, with wordy presentations all the damn day long. 10am-6pm, FREE (Some Bookend events priced).

* Thursday, Sept. 20: Cringe, Freddy's: The Freddy's original series of teenage diaries and other mortifying texts welcomes the fall with a back-to-school special. Because nothing says school daze like stories of shame, galloping hormones, and blissfully un-self-aware melodrama. 7:30pm, FREE.

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Whassup: Falling Down Edition

Oh shit, is it fall now? For some, this might be a time of mourning. Another summer of beaches and ice cream trucks past, and we never quite got that beach body we wanted because of all the ice cream trucks. And yet, here is fall, and the temperatures are decent and the city is no longer a sweat bog. Honestly, they should have more of the outdoor concerts in September. Prospect Park's downright awesome when Fall hits, after the grossness of August (and early September) subsides. So, buck up, beach bums, and welcome the change in seasons. Welcome to Whassup: Falling Down Edition:

* Saturday, Sept. 15: Garden Sandwich Off, The Amazing Garden (Carroll Gardens): To raise some green, this community garden is hosting a grilled sandwich competition. So, do good while stuffing your face. You were probably gonna stuff your face somehow anyway. 3pm, $20.

* Saturday, Sept. 15: Drink All Damn Day, Greenwood Park Beer Garden: Oh sweet Lord, have mercy on us: they want you to come and drink all the fucking damn day long for $60. This will turn out very well, I'm sure. It's called "Freaktoberfest" and it all goes down at Greenwood Park's spacious beer garden. There's also live music and a Coney Island freak show theme, with sideshow acts taking the stage for your amusement, you Caligula, you. 12pm, $60.

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Welcome to Whassup: NY Week Edition

This is the week of the bad memories in New York. But, as the old president said, if we stop spending money, the terrorists win. Also, the recession wins (which is actually true). More importantly, there's a lot of joy and music and alcohol to be experienced, which is a fantastic way to celebrate this city. Welcome to Whassup: NY Week Edition:

* Friday, Sep. 7: Lady Lamb, Rock Shop: One of my favorite East Coast performers, Lady Lamb the Beekeeper, is a tiny little ball of powerful voice. Once again, she's opening for some bands that I don't know, but that are probably pretty cool themselves. But mostly this is just evidence of how much talent there is to be seen in Brooklyn. Come for the opener. 8:30pm, $10.

* Saturday, Sep. 8: Punklandia, Williamsburg Park: The eight-year Chicago punk gather, Riot Fest, plants a combat boot in Brooklyn for the first time this year. If you check out the Chicago line-up, well, it's much better. But Brooklyn gets a pretty good show, too, with the gypsy punks of Gogol Bordello and 80's punk OGs the Descendents headlining. Notable punkists down the ballot include the Screaming Females. Mostly, though, it's one of the last gasps of the summer music festival season. Hold on to 16 as long as you can. 2pm, $55.

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