OPEN POST: Happy New Year

Is it me, or has this year mostly sucked a dizzle? I don't know about you btchz, but I'm pretty over 2010. That big sparkly ball drop can't come soon enough as far as I'm concerned.

I'm ready to dive deep into this new decade head first--OH, and also: 11 is my lucky number!

So yeah, I'm ready to get this New Year's party s-t-a-r-t-e-d.

So what is everyone doing?

Any New Year's resolutions?

Any one still have an unplowed street? (KIDDING!) (NOT REALLY!)

OPEN POST: Merry FIPSmas, Btchz

Sending a shoutout to all my goys.

In the meantime, throw a Jew a bone: WHAT DID EVERYONE GET FOR XMAS???

OPEN POST: It's Thanksgiving, Btchz

So, are you totally annoyed by your family yet? Thinking of putting up your kids for adoption? Sick of me asking you to fill out our motherfucking survey? Or buy tix to the Naughty Office Holiday Party?

If so, we have just what the doctor orderd: AN OPEN POST!

Here's where you can let loose with everything that's been on your mind and then some. I'll go first:

+ I'm sorry, but Skating With the Stars was one of the most epic things I've ever seen on television...and I mean like E-V-E-R. If you guys are not already DVR'ing this shit, I would recommend you do so pronto. Dancing with the Stars can go suck a dick, and you know that if I could marry a TV show, it would be So You Think You Can Dance. But I have a new place in my heart for SWTS.

+ I've caved to pressure and started a new TV/Live Tweeting Twitter account @shutuperica. This means that I will hereby never be tweeting about TV shit from either @effedparkslope OR @designblahg (except to occasionally remind you that I'm TV'ing it up over on @shutuperica

+ HAAAAAA! Now Time Warner Cable is offering a new "signature plan" that promises to ensure that customers get a fucking return phone call or have a technician show up on time...and it only costs you $190 DOLLARS A MONTH!

+ The Turkey Jerk party is goin down on Sat night at Union Hall starting at 11pm. The Skint's DJ Patty Hearst will be spinnin 80's synth pop, break dance classics, freestyle, French and American new wave, more. That's Whassup this week.

+ Is there anything cooler than a chick butcher? No (obvz): Sara Bigelow: Girl Butcher (via The L Magazine)

+ Do coyotes eat raccoons? If so, I say let's get em up in this bitch: Coyotes on Rat Patrol in Some Cities (via Gothamist)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, BBS! I'm big time thankful that you read this piece of shit blog...for realz.

OPEN POST: The Weekend That Was

Hey party ppl: you know how we do these open post-y thingamijiggys? Well here's another one. Only before you guys go off in the comms, I was gonna open post my damn self, cause I got a lotz on my mind:

+ I AM NOW A FIOS CUSTOMER! AND I LOVE IT SO FUCKING MUCH! Btchz have left comments and twatted me about how the service is only "marginally" better and the customer service is worse, and I'm sorry: I just don't buy it. The installer showed up on time on the day of our appt, did a phenomenal job, and at the last minute when something wasn't working and I needed to leave for an appt, the dude made me take down HIS PERSONAL NUMBER in case something came up and I needed some more help!!?? Then Verizon called the NEXT DAY to see how everything was going!!?? If Verizon never ever ever gives me good customer service again, this whole experience thus far will STILL add up to way more great customer service than I have ever rec'd throughout the entirety of my Time Warner relationship over the past 11 years. Oh, and also I now have approximately 11 billion channels...for less money. BOOYAH.

+ I received the following email on Friday evening:

Your Name: Rosa
Your Email: mamarosalatino@gmail.com
Subject: Contact for suggestions and complaints

Message: On behalf of Mama Rosa Latino, I am asking our dear clientele to write to us at:

mamarosalatino@gmail.com

to make any suggestions or complaints, so we can grow with your constructive feedback.

We like to hear from you soon and hope to see you at our restaurant, where everybody is welcomed and appreciated.

Sincerely,
Mama Rosa Owners

Uhm...dear Mama Rosa owners: I wrote out a rather long and detailed account of my first and last dinner at your restaurant. Not quite sure how "constructive" my criticism was, but if you'd genuinely like to "hear" from me, have it. Also, pls say hi to Weird Waiter and Crystal Necklace Dude for me...I really miss those guys.

+ There was a gigantic fucking fire in S. Slope on Friday. Thankfully, none of the families living above the Asssociated Supermarket that caught on fire were there at the time, but 10 of them have been displaced and have no place to live now. So if you're not a total asshole, you should go make a donation to the Red Cross and help em out.

+ I went to Comida, aka Playa 2.0 this weekend with Greg and NineDaves...and it was pretty friggin epic. We didn't have a ton to eat (mostly just a bunch of apps and sides), but still the food was really good and the service was great and also we had this pot de creme chocolate pudding dessert that I am still dreaming about any time I close my eyes. I still think Fonda is better, but also that shit is like 20 blocks away for me. So yeah...Comida! I will be back!

+ I'm on a mission to catalog all of the Basset Hounds in Park Slope. Know any? If so, leave a comment. And if you own a Basset and live in Park Slope (or know someone who does), email me at effedinparkslope at gmail dot com with the name of the Basset and a photo (or a link to one), as well as whether you live in N. or S. Slope.

+ Is the Real Housewvies of Beverly Hills not the best damn thing you've ever seen on TV?? And how good is Vampire Diaries this season!?

OK, your turn. Go crazy! Whassup? Have at it!

OPEN THREAD: Looking at This Fucking Tree

Well, it's one of your few remaining summer Fridays (those of us in publishing do not know what to do with ourselves when these end, as pathetic and indolent as that is), so clearly your minds are numbed enough to deal with waking up to an image of the tree outside of Jonathan Safran Foer's brownstone.  Or, as our friends at the Daily Intel are calling it, a "twee."

Yes, those are hands signing the American Sign Language alphabet and no, we don't have a fucking clue what to say, either.  But lucky you, this is an open thread.  So once you figure it out or have put enough Kahlua in your coffee that we won't know the difference, fire away in the comments.

Thank you for tuning in to this edition of Erica Fakes a Blog Vacation.  We're aiming for more nudity in the next installment.