As we've previously reported, our favorite local dreamweavers, Michael and Alice Halkias of the Grand Prospect Hall want to construct a 150-room, 11-story hotel in their parking lot in South Slope (or Greenwood Heights or whatever we're calling it these days). Designed—and I use that term loosely—by Brooklyn-based Doban Architecture, the plan would include a 400-space parking garage.
This, according to Mr. Halkias, will be the ultimate gift to the hood: "A magnificent cake: my parking garage." And from one of their flyers: "Our dream is lots of happy, smiley neighbors! More parking. More shopping. More banking. An environmentally sustainable community."
The Brooklyn Paper (my new paper of record) reported that the flyer also contained a not so subtle threat to stick it to the hood if we don't let them have their zoning variance.
The alternate course would be to cater to a low end clientele with limited budgets, limited options, but with large numbers... The need for profitability will override any consideration of lifestyle, even if it may be undesirable — only profitability and group size will matter.
AYFKMWTS?
According to the Brooklyn Paper and Brownstoner, the cake parking lot offering has won over the Chamber of Commerce and 5th Ave BID at least. Not so much Gilly Youner, an architect and trustee on the Park Slope Civic Council.
I'm very glad that this type of project with this scale, and potential impact on its surroundings, has to get reviewed by both the Board of Standards and Appeals, and also be run by the Community Board! Unfortunately, it does not yet fall under LPC purview, or we would have much stronger safeguards for the neighborhood.
"I don't even know where to begin," said Mark Pennell of Pennell Design when I asked him to weigh in on the drawings. This from a dude who is NEVER short of words. (Mark, for his sins is my long-suffering husband and a local residential design+build dude).
A look of pure horror concern crossed his face before he elaborated...
The building looks confused. I'm looking at five different competing architectural styles in the facade alone. This is Brooklyn, not Miami Beach. What kind of precedent would this set? Not a good one, from where I'm sitting.
Well, okay then. He could barely get the words out. He was close to an apoplectic fit. Fine, he wasn't but he was sighing. A lot.
So, what do you all think? Are we going to let Mr. and Mrs. Halkias threaten us with rap concerts and shit if we don't let them build this ugly ass cake thing? I think they should only build it if it's a big multi-tiered wedding cake design. In pink and white and gold. With a giant lesbian bridal couple on the roof.
Okay, have at it.