More Park Slope Post Office Haterade!

Hey, remember when we delivered BIG news back in March, telling you how how much the Park Slope post office on 7^thAvenue sucked?

Well, novelist and Park Slope resident, Rudolph Delson (who???) delivers the 11215 postal branch a cup of hate too, but in an entertainingly obnoxious letter to the postmaster. This tome anguishes on for pages and pages, pointing out typos on post office signs, criticizing font choices, becoming outraged over the use of Scotch tape when there are aluminum runners that could be used instead (obvy!), and commenting on the “poor use of text justification.” Oh, the scrutiny goes on and on. Read it for yourself!--it's truly a work of art.

(via Manhattan Users Guide)

If You Hate The MTA With Ever Fiber of Your Being, Raise Your Hand...

So, wait?! Does my unlimited monthly Metro card NOT work today because of this stupid fare increase?? You know, the one that took effect as of y-e-s-t-e-r-d-a-y upping fares to $2.25?

Just for funzies, I'd like to say: FUUUUUUCKKKKK YOOOOOOOU, MTA! If ever there was a prime, motherfucking example of getting something for nothing, it's what you bizzatches keep doing with your rate increases. You get more of our money, and we get more of your bullshit.

Only in NY...

(via the Daily News)

UPDATE: my monthly unlimited card, which is set to expire June 30th DID actually work today despite the rate increase. You MTA bitches are LUCKY.

Target Even More Fucked Than We Previously Thought

And let's be honest folks...that's no easy feat.

As some of you might recall, FIPS Undercover did a rollicking four-part series that delved deep into the craptastical shitteousness of, what we believe to be, the worst Target in the United States of America. But as bad as we thought that mofo was, we *may* have found a Target that's even worse...in East New York

Not that we're surprised.

So, check it: apparently an East New York Target employee got a bright idea that she wanted to steal some flat screen TV's. So the bitch hid her BF in a broom closet for five hours, and then the dude tried to set fire to the store. In the chaos, Bonnie and Clyde were all set to steal eight flatscreens. Instead they got arrested.

Oh yeah...and caused $100,000 worth of damage to the store.

BWWAAAHHHAAAAAAA!

Uhm, Target? We totally fucking told you so.

(via 1010 Wins)

I'd Rather Die Than Go To Methodist Hospital (No, really, I would)

photo via: Brooklyn Paper

Ahhh New York hospitals. Teeming with the pathogen-ridden homeless, gun-toting visitors and totally inept people. Yeah, I said it.

That kitchen mishap you think requires stitches? Buck up and settle for an ugly scar—the ER is not worth it.

But surely we must have it better in the best neighborhood in the universe? Surely our BREDING and BALLING are said universe’s top priorities? Right?!?

No.

Click to read more ...

Great Balls of Fire

Yesterday, my subway car caught fire.

Okay, maybe I'm being dramatic.

I don’t know if the car was on fire, or if the track was on fire, or if some homeless man was on fire on the platform. What I DO know is that there was a fire somewhere near me.

I’m not prone to panicking, but when riding on the subway, I have very little confidence that my conductor (who can barely put together a coherent sentence) will be in control of the situation (ie: the GIGANTIC BLAZING FIRE).

Click to read more ...