Park Slope Sketched

Holy shit, is this cool!

So, this rad architect dude, James Anzalone, does these rockin, detailed sketches of a bunch of Park Slope landmarks, and publishes them all to his blog.

LOVE.

JONATHAN AMES: I WILL GIVE YOU A TIVO!

I was tickeled pink to learn that after his pleas for help on Twitter, HBO bought our fave BK writer, Jonathan Ames, (who's new show Bored to Death I'm seriously digging), a TV to...uhm...watch his own fucking hit show.

If you thought that most writers who write hit TV shows have their OWN TV's to watch em on, well then I guess yo'd be very fucking wrong.

Anyway.

As you all know, FIPS CARES!

So I just wanted to put it out there, that we here are FIPS are actually willing to take this shit one step further: we will give you a TIVO, Jonathan Ames!

Yes, I'm totally fucking serious!

I want you to have a Tivo of your very own.

We have an extra old Tivo that we're not using, and I think this is *exactly* what you need to take things to the next level with your whole new TV watching life, Jonathan. I will even come over and show your ass how to use the thing!

So yeah...if you wanna watch Dancing With the Stars, and Glee and SYTYCD, and Million Dollar Listing, and Flash Forward, and Modern Family and all that other good shit along with Bored to Death, you best send me an email stat (effedinparkslope at gmail dot com)!

I'm here for you, brotha!

How To Smoke Crack

For those of you who really wanna take this whole BALLER thing to the outer limits, the NY Observer has a wonderful how-to guide on how to be a crack smoking hipster. Cause, you know, "crack is back."

"On my way to meet the Last Crack Hipster, I bought a soda at a bodega around the corner from where he lives in Brooklyn. I must have missed him by a minute. The bodega sells crack pipes, too. Most bodegas in the city do. The pipes used to be disguised as glass tubes, corked at both ends, containing tiny roses. No one bought them for the roses. Now they come in the form of pens: The “straw” that’s normally plastic on a Bic pen is glass. Who wants a glass pen? The pen works, yes. It is genius. At some places, if you ask for a “demo,” you get just the part used for a pipe."

Daym, I have enough trouble finding a bodega that stocks my fucking devil dogs, and these bitches are selling little "crack kits!?"

I mean, that is pretty convenient, though still not quite as convenient as a weed delivery guy. Jus sayin...

Anyway.

You heard it here first BREEDERS. So, if you're smart-assed teen is all "I'm off to the bodega to go grab a crack kit, er snack! Just a snack!," now you'll know what's *really* going down.

You're welcome.

(NY Observer via Gothamist)

Bay Ridge Recycles Shit Better Than Park Slope

Apparently Bay Ridge is recycling 4% more of their shit than we are and I, for one, think that that's appalling.

At times like these, I always like to use a quote from my FAVEMOVIEOFALLTIME Top Gun in order to get you bitches motivated:

Stinger: And let's not bullshit, Maverick. Your family name ain't the best in the Navy. You need to be doing it better and cleaner than the other guy. Now what is it with you?

Maverick: Just want to serve my country and be the best fighter pilot in the Navy, sir!

Stinger: Don't screw around with me, Maverick. You're one hell of an instinctive pilot. Maybe too good. I'd like to bust your butt but I can't. I got another problem here. I gotta send somebody from this squadron to Miramar. I gotta do something here, I still can't believe it. I gotta give you your dream shot! I'm gonna send you up against the best. You two characters, are going to Top Gun. For five weeks, you'll be flying against the best fighter pilots in the Navy. You guys were number two, Cougar was number one. Cougar lost it-turned in his wings. You guys are number one.

So?? Do you want to be NUMBER ONE, PEOPLE?? Do you want to KICK BAY RIDGE'S ASS?? If so, get the fuck out there and recycle some goddammned kombucha drink bottles already.

(via NY Daily News)

LIVE FROM GREENPOINT: MIDNWTFS!

Miss Heather from NY Shitty taught me a new word last week (and sent us this pic!): MIDNWTF.

Loves.

(p.s. This was taken in the basement of the Lutheran Church of the Messiah--halleleujah!).