Drop Your Balls in the Slope: A FiPS Guide To New Year's Eve

via demotivationalposters.org

The year is almost over, fellow Park Slopers, and that means it's time to look back in pride at all of your accomplishments, kept promises, hard work, and sacrifices -- it's a chance to take stock of how far you've come over the last year. I'm just shitting you. It's time to forget your own and the world's vast shittiness by getting shit-faced in the funnest neighborhood around. Don't stay home watching balls drop like some suburban hausfrau. There's plenty going down in Slope-area establishments, so hit the town like the Baller that you are. The world's ending next year anyway, so live it up. Here's the FIPS run-down of Slope New Year's happenings:

* 5/5/5, Union Hall: As 2011 rolls over into 2012, Slope fave for intimate shows, bocce, and weird taxidermy displays, Union Hall, celebrates five years of existence. To mark the occasion, they'll be subtracting four from Herman Cain's mantra and offering $5 drink specials, $5 entry, all in celebration of five years. DJs will be spinning on both floors, with epic drunk singing from Karaoke Killed the Cat. Oh, and you could win an iPad2 on which to record all your unrealistic resolutions for next year. $5, 8pm.

* Bugalu Eve, Barbes: Continuing in its efforts to expose indie-rock-stuffed Brooklynites to the music of the world, Barbes welcomes 2012 with bugalu revival from Spanglish Fly. Mostly known today as a great movie-sequel appendage, bugalu hails from the '60's, when Spanish Harlem teens stirred a spoonful of soul into their mambo. It's a big band sound with lots of percussion, brass, and those conga drums you keep not getting for Christmas. $15, 10pm.

* Punk Art, Freddy's: From the young poets that bring a punk, DIY ethos to Freddy's Whiskey Coke reading series, comes a New Year's art opening and band lineup: "Disambiguation" showcases works by three local Brooklyn artists. Music rocks the little Freddy's backroom all night from 8 past midnight, capped by DIY punk-soul party band The Brooklyn What. 8pm, FREE.

* Soul's Eve, Bell House: Wanna up your chances for that midnight kiss? Behind perhaps only champagne and loneliness, soul music is mankind's most potent inducer of sexualness. The Dig Deeper monthly, old-school funk and soul series has a double-set from '70's-vintage soulster Lee Fields and Brooklyn-born funk artist Sugar Pie DeSanto. Prepare your best enthusiastic-white-guy dance moves. $50 DOS, 8:30pm Doors.

* Hip-Hop New Year's, Southpaw: The Rub monthly classic hip-hop party focuses on the tunes and dispenses with clubby douchery: no table service, dress code, or faux celebrities. So, if something's gotta drop at the end of the year, make it the beat with the Rub DJ's New Year's Eve party. And dance horribly, because everyone else will be, too. Complimentary champagne toast at midnight. $40, 9pm Doors.

* New Year's Eve: Not the Movie, the party, Mission Dolores: Join the creators of Shitty Kitty comics and FiPS favorite bartender, Mr. Craig Butta, for a night of music, dancing, drink specials, snacks and Shitty Kitty comic making! If you guys haven't checked out these comics, you really should. They're pretty damn funny. 9PM, FREE. 

* O'Death, Spike Hill: One of my favorite Brooklyn bands is doing a New Year's show up hipster side at Spike Hill. I know, I know. But it might be worth it. The New Year's baby should be welcomed by crazy, backwoods country death music, don't you think? $15, 8pm Doors.

* Grab a growler: Champagne toasts are traditional, but pretty weak. That little, clinky, fine-stemmed glass. That fruity, light bebation. Instead, man up this New Year's and hit your friend's party with a growler in hand. Even the name is pretty badass. In the South Slope, stock up at Grab, or opt for Bierkraft on the north side. If you're feeling ambitious, try to organize your own party in which everyone comes with at least one growler. I really want to see this happen sometime.

* Beer Bash, Tea Lounge: Red Hook's distillery of delicious inebriation, Six Point, will be drunkening New Year's revelers at Tea Lounge from 9pm to 1am, when your admission ticket gets you unlimited suds. Other drink specials, too, along with bands and a DJ to keep things festive. Dress up to throw down. $20 pre-sale or $30 at the door.

* Explosions in the Sky: Hit your own, or a friend's rooftop to peep the sparkly boom booms. Fireworks start at midnight. Look for 'splosions firing from Liberty Island and Central Park across the river, and Grand Army Plaza closer to home. You can also trek out to GAP for the best view of Brooklyn's Marty Markowitz-sponsored kablooey. Midnight.

* Get dressed up and hit a dive bar: New Year's is, perhaps more than anything, a chance to dust off your best spats and look nice. And there's one sure fire way to look even better: find some surroundings that look like crap. So, slip into that evening dress or knot that black tie and get stylishly sloshed on cheap booze at one of the Slope's great dives. As you may have heard, old-man tipplery Timboo's is closing the 31st, but maybe you can quaff one last $4 Brooklyn before they shutter it? Not sure when their last hour is. Anyway, there's always Old Carriage Inn or Jackie's 5th Amendment.