BOD 4 GOD

Look sharp: This is the greatest thing Christianity has done since (TO-DO: Think of good thing Christianity has done.)

According to care2.com, the Journey Church (a "modern evangelical" church with a big fat location here Park Slope) is telling its members to lose some weight or go to hell.  

Predictably, some Christians are up-in-arms against the initiative, claiming it violates the Bible's teaching that God-loves-us-all-for-who-we-are: "We should not have seek god's approval because we already have it, by the virtue of having life. -- Dorota L "

To these protesters I'd say...wait - which Bible does that appear in? God loves you for who you are? Did I miss a memo? The last I read, your god  hates and tortures: -

• Gays
• Jews
• Muslims
• Strong women
• Pot smokers
• People who say "jesus fucking christ"
• People who say "jesus christ"
• People who say "jesus fucking christ your tongue feels so good on my balls" if they're living together before getting married.

God loves us for who we are as long as we're like YOU! Cmon, get your stories straight.

Well here's my reaction to the Journey Church's proposal: WAY TO FUCKING GO (excuse my french.)

I'm so proud of you guys, I'm going to set down my Torah and World Bank/Media Manipulation Control Panel so that I can stand up and give you a big  fucking round of applause. You're alright with me: if you can motivate people to get healthy via religion, then you've done more for religion than  anyone since the REAL Jesus.

Shit, I'd wear a burka if it'd make me quit smoking. JUST BE SURE, Journey Church priests, and I'll take you at your word on this: you're NOT just doing it to make yourselves more attractive to the  alter boys.

Follow Ben Leo on Twitter.