Brooklyn Man Redefines the Studio Apartment

 Image via NYPost.comYes, rent prices in the city are astronomical.  Sure, it would be great to live off the grid.  Is the solution a permanent dumpster dive?  Gregory Kloehn seems to think so.  This guy’s idea is garbage—literally.  His place is a dump. 

All puns aside, Kloehn lives in a refurbished industrial-sized dumpster.  To me, that’s roughly 7 banana peels shy of being a bum.  The artist, who purchased his humble commode, uh, abode, for $2,000 spent six months tricking it out with all the luxe amenities of a 1970’s camper.  There’s a burner for cooking any item thrown in by passers by, a couch/bed with storage underneath, electricity and yes, even a toilet!  Living large, Greg!

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Rockettes in da 'Hood

Image via about-face.orgThe Radio City Rockettes will be kick-lining their way to the Slope on Tuesday, August 13^th.  Nope—Christmas is not coming early this year.  The precision dance company will be hocking “Rox Pops”; not to be confused with Rox’s Pops (a small cake pop company), or Pop Rocks (those delightful candies that make pigeons explode). 

The Rox Pops, which one must assume are an icy shout-out to the long-legged beauties, are a new cranberry-apple ice pop from our favorite ice pop creators, People’s Pops. 

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Mayoral Race Heats up with de Blasio Non-Scandal

Image via NYDailyNews.comAs every news outlet grasps at straws to expose each candidate’s “dark passenger," we have learned that Bill De Blasio is no angel himself. He didn’t tweet his junk around the virtual world, but, according to New York Magazine, he has allegedly had staffers pick up and/or watch his children throughout his time on the City Council. 

Now, I have had a multitude of shitty fucking jobs throughout my tenure in NYC, but never have I been forced to watch my boss’ kids. Scandal?  Well—not the dick-showing, scarlet letter type, but if he had city employees nannying on company time that’s akin to stealing, isn’t it?  

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Brownstone formerly known as the Pink House on the market again

Image credit : Jeanne Noonan/NYDailyNewsThe once “Pink House” is up for grabs…again.  Neighborhoodies will, of course, remember the illustrious Pink House that so uniquely set itself apart. 

The house at 233 Garfield Place sold last year for $2.395 million—a meager fee considering the new $4.795 million price tag.  The buyer’s first order of business was to paint it doo-doo brown.  What the hell did they put in that place for a $2.4 million markup? If I were to jump on that there had better be some serious secret passages, a gold staircase and maybe even a marble cherub pissing hot fudge onto my built-in Cold Stone Ice Cream Bar.  Whatever the improvements, they are trying to flip the shit out of this house. Me thinks somebody has been watching “Property Brothers.”

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New Book Pokes Fun at Park Slope-ish-ness

When I was asked to review Matthew Goldenberg’s book “A is For Artisanal: An Alphabet Book for the Hip, Modern Baby,” I was all, “GROAN...," with a little "Fuck that shiz" thrown in. But, as I immersed myself in my assigned evening reading, I was happily surprised, amused even. 

Inspired by his niece Ava, who was born and raised in our beloved Park Slope, the book, penned by Goldenberg with illustrations by Ben Schwartz, is actually pretty funny. Some of the S.A.T. worded text may be a bit advanced for most toddlers, but clearly this book is more for adults to snicker at -- à la Go The Fuck To Sleep -- rather than something to actually read with their kids.

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