New website generates Brooklyn hipster business names

I saw this last week on Laughing Squid and meant to post about it immediately, but then, ya know, Labor Day weekend! I think my Jewish New Year's resolution will be to stop the day drinking. Basically, a clever dude named Cass Chin created Brooklhyn Brooklyn Company Company, which does nothing but generate hilarious names and descriptions of possible Brooklyn businesses. What are you waiting for? Check it out! 

Whassup: Gridiron Edition

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You guys are super excited for the start of football season, aren't you? Oh, sorry, forgot this was Park Slope. Let me rephrase: You guys are super excited for the start of pumpkin latte/organic soup/harvest beer season, aren't you? Such a great time of year. You can root for your favorite pumpkin spice craft beer every Sunday, toss the old decorative gourd around, and pull on your trusty fall-palette sweater. Yes, August may be in the rearview now, but there remain things to be drunk and shows to be clapped at. Welcome to Whassup: Gridiron Edition:  

* Saturday, Sept. 7: Shaky Pollack's Opening, Jalopy (Red Hook): Shaky Dave is the entertainingly manic harmonicartist who is often the best part of the show for Slope-area musical institutions Alex Battles & The Whiskey Rebellion and the M Shanghai String Band. But the Shaky One also works in paint -- or "the pigment harp," if you will. A set of his Pollack-esque pieces will adorn the walls of string emporium Jalopy Theatre, opening today. Come, ahem, shake the artist's hand. 5pm-8pm, FREE.

* Saturday, Sept. 7: Exquisite Celebration, powerHouse Arena: Slice Literary is hosting a reading from one of my favorite writing games: exquisite corpse. If you don't know, exquisite corpse happens when one writer starts a story, then folds over the paper, leaving only the final sentence he or she wrote revealed. The next writer must then continue the story, and then the process repeats for the next writer in line. Weird, silly, perhaps even serendipitously moving things can happen. It's sort of like high-class Mad Libs or telephone. Sort of. Readers include Scott Cheshire, author of "High as the Horses' Bridles," Fiona Maazel, author of "Woke Up Lonely," and more. All of that, plus free beer from Sixpoint. 6:30pm, FREE.

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[What You Should Order At...] Little Purity

When I was in my 20’s, I dated a guy that lived above Park Slope’s Katina’s Diner. I used to lug my hungover ass down his apartment steps in the morning to scarf down mediocre diner pancakes, sometimes still wearing my pajamas. It was convenient and I was lazy. Times have changed, but only a little. I’m no longer in my 20’s, Katina’s is now Little Purity, and though I still pride myself on being lazy, I now lug my sober ass many blocks to order Little Purity’s mind-blowing lemonade. “What?!” you say? "A mere glass of lemonade is your recommendation for what to get?" Hear me out, FIPS readers.

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ICYMI: Uniqlo opening next month at Atlantic Center

Am I the last person to hear the news that Uniqlo is coming to Brooklyn??? According to Racked, the chain of cheap, trendy, decently-made clothes is expanding like crazy, with 10 new mall stores opening in October and November. The Atlantic Center store is set to open on October 25th.

Between this and the Sephora coming to Brooklyn Heights, there will be hardly a reason to go into Manhattan. If Uniqlo doesn't do it for you, what other stores would you like to see come to Brooklyn?

Calling All Synagogue-less MOTs: A Guide to High Holy Day Services

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It's one thing to be a lonely Jew on Christmas, but there's no reason for you to be a lonely Jew on Rosh Hashanah on Yom Kippur, just because you don't actually belong to a shul (membership dues are pricey, yo.). There are definitely some options for you in and around the neighborhood, but for most of them, you can't just roll up and walk in. Here's a short guide to a few places we found for you once-a-year types:

1. Congregation Beth Elohim

"If you are not a CBE member, this is a wonderful time to consider joining us. Please click here to join our membership. There are several options for membership CBE is committed to ensuring that the cost of membership does not stand in the ay of joining our community. If your financial situation requires a dues adjustment please contact Lauren Shenkman at 718.768.3814 x242 or lshenkman@cbebk.org to arrange a private conversation about dues cost.

Non-members are invited to join our Brooklyn Jews services (a welcoming service aimed to people in their 20's and 30's) or Altshul services (traditional egalitarian services). Click here for Brooklyn Jews tickets or here for Altshul tickets." 

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