Why The Fuck Is The Mere Existence of Animal Life In Park Slope "BREAKING NEWS??!!"
Alicia | Wednesday, March 25, 2009 at 12:47AM 
(ed note: I couldn't use a pic of an actual possum, b/c after the 2 min google search I conducted, I looked at some real possums and literally almost vomited all over my keyboard).
Why does everyone flip the fuck out in P. Slope when they spot "wild animals"? Why is this news?!? And I'm not talking about the pig-on-a-leash variety or the Lucky-13-Saloon-girls-on-poles-variety. A Daily Slope Message Board poster by the name of ringrunner brings us this “Breaking News!” by way of his equally important blog, “WHAT YOU DO NOT KNOW BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT ME!” Who’s the guilty party this time around? A possum.
Okay okay, even we at FIPS have been known to be interested in the occasional raccoon sighting because the little fucker committed breaking-and-entering of Police Blotter-worthiness. In the case of the possum, here is how the blogger’s logic goes: “This was one big vermin. I mean, a block away is Prospect Park. But this is 8th Ave and Union St. Something is wrong.”
Is something wrong? Last time I checked, a possum is quite adept at walking a block, so the question remains, does this deserve to be news? Does this deserve to be BREAKING news?
Brooklynian Forum, PSlope WTF, pets 
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Reader Comments (6)
need a "shame shame shame" segment by arnold diaz. fucking possum, taking our investments
Possums are for WIMPS - the real FIPS wildlife poster children are RATS
http://onlytheblogknowsbrooklyn.typepad.com/only_the_blog_knows_brook/2008/07/rats-on-preside.html
http://pardonmeforasking.blogspot.com/2008/09/it-raining-rats-in-carroll-gardens-f.html
http://mcbrooklyn.blogspot.com/2008/10/more-rats-at-brooklyn-borough-hall.html
and they are everywhere...
Of course it is breaking news. That varmint is new compared to that lady walking around with no pants. She has been around for ever.
Last spring the KWTneighbors yahoogroup (Kensington/ Windsor Terrace) was collectively wigging out about Raccoons in the area getting into all sorts of naughty mischief. I'll keep you abreast of any developments this year.
If you think possums are vomit-inducing, do a google image search of moles. You will instantly puke in your mouth.
Can not, not, not stand rats or mice. Really. But possums? They're shy, I think not too bright and not going to hurt you (if anything, they'll run away and hide if they see you). I admit they're kinda naked-mole-rat freaky looking, but perfectly harmless.