Who needs the real Brooklyn when things can be BROOKLYNIZED?

I’m always pretty skeptical when people claim to replicate the authenticity of something native to somewhere else when they are in a place far away from that locality. But I have to admit that this video was pretty damn convincing.

The story goes like this: Larry King bought a Beverly Hills franchise of an Original Brooklyn Water Bagel Co., thereby (supposedly) bringing that local kick-ass, Brooklyn bagel flavor to the west coast.

The first thing that made me question the validity of this claim was that this franchise isn’t even based out of New York in the first place, but instead Florida. The franchise claims to “Brooklynize” non-Brooklyn water with a special water filtration system, removing Florida minerals and replacing them with Brooklyn minerals, thus creating semi-authentic, Brooklyn water, which then is used to make bagels. Using this theory, it only makes sense that you could take California/Wherever-the-hell-you-are minerals out of the water and replace those with Brooklyn minerals and create the same effect. Okay, I guess I can get on board with that. HOWEVER...

My next instinct was to question how the hell they know the water is even the same, but I’m not going to do that now as someone has already done that for us. Justin Silverman of The Daily found a water-testing expert who tested both Larry’s water and Brooklyn’s water and found that they were virtually identical (Larry’s was actually a bit cleaner). Since they’re using science to prove their point, I guess I’ll give it to them.

With all that being said, I still have questions regarding the claim that it is in fact “all about the water”. I mean, I’m no bagel expert, but is the water really what makes a Brooklyn bagel the best bagel? Is it not many ingredients making up a recipe created by a Brooklyn native who has grown up eating bagels and probably tried every bagel ranging from shitty to fantastic and thus has perfected the recipe? Maybe it all just comes down to the nostalgia of remembering a flavor or smell from a certain time and place? If that last thing is what they’re going for then I guess they’ve done it, but I don’t know if we can really credit water with the reason Brooklyn bagels taste so good in the first place.

Aside from the bagel mystery, since my automatic wall of wanting them to be wrong was lowered, I was able to enjoy the other awesome aspects of this video, like the fact that Larry was incredibly annoyed by this Justin guy, throwing such adorable phrases in his direction as “Did you fall as a child?” and “You’re getting on my nerves” when he wouldn’t shut up and just try a damn bagel. So, even if you don’t give a shit about bagels, it’s worth watching the 3-minute clip if only to enjoy Larry King’s little insulting gems.

Also, I wonder what else we could “Brooklynize” with these magical water filters…any ideas?

Image via Lisa Marks Media