WHAT TO DO WHEN: YOUR DOG EATS CHOCOLATE AND YOU THINK HE'S GONNA DIE

SPOILER ALERT: You should call Animal Poison Control. Here's their number: 888-426-4435

I would suggest you get that shit into your phone right now, just in case. 

Let me set the scene of this almost catastrophe for you: last week Greg and I were both sound asleep--or at least I was. Greg was awoken by the sound of Oliver's nails click, click, clicking across the floor at a clip that he deemed quite unusual for 6:45 in the morning. Curious, Greg got up and followed him into the living room...and that's where he saw the wreckage. Oliver had managed to unsheath, and eat, 36 of those gold, chocolate Chanukah gelt coins that he fished out of a Target bag that we (VERY FUCKING STUPIDLY) had left on the floor with all of our nieces and nephews gifts. 

OMFG, OMFG, OMFG, OMFG. 

My first thought was to call the emergency line for our vet at Animal Kind. I was pretty much in tears as I pressed 1 "if your pet is experiencing a life threatening emergency." The chick I talked with, told me that I needed to call Animal Poison Control ASAP. I asked if I could bring him in anyway, and she explained that even if we did, the doctor on call would still need to call Animal Poison Control.

All I have heard my whole life is "CHOCOLATE IS POISON FOR DOGS!," so right about now Greg and I were thinking that this couldn't get much worse. Meanwhile, Oliver is just chillin on the floor, staring at us both like "What guys!? That shit was delicious!"

So I call Animal Poison Control, and immediately I feel slightly more calm: I'm going to be speaking to an actual vet. Not some angry "I can't believe this is my fucking life" chick who got stuck on the night shift and is pissed that I interrupted her game of Farmville. I also find out that this call will cost $65. Fine. Whatever. $6500 is cool too, just tell me how the fuck to prevent my dog from dying. 

Turns out that with our near disaster, we got super lucky. First of all, Oliver ate milk chocolate--which has way the hell less caffeine in it than dark chocolate (apparently the caffeine and the theobromine in chocolate is what causes toxicity in dogs). Second of all, despite the fact that he had snarfed up 36 coins, Oliver actually only ate about 6 oz of chocolate. This was super easy for us to figure out because we had the stats right on the bag he had ripped open to get the coins. The vet we spoke with told us that based on this info, he wasn't even close to the red zone danger level of chocolate consumption for a dog his size. 

The vet told us that Oliver *might* throw up at some point during the day, but that if he had a strong stomach, we might not notice anything different (as it turns out, we didn't notice a thing. Dude acted totally normal the rest of the day). 

Now, duh: that def doesn't mean go feed your dog chocolate cause it's no biggie after all. BUT, if your dog ends up getting a hold of some accidentally, he/she might not die immediately. At least I think.

Best to call Animal Poison Control just to be sure. 

Comments

[Rainbowmaarshmallow]

Thank u for the info and that was hilarious and scary.