Whassup: Whole Fools Edition

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It's been a big week for NY-gentrification news. Tragically, graffiti haven 5 Pointz got white-washed in advance of its imminent condofication. So, that was sad. A little more positively (hopefully?) and of use to Slope-area eaters of foods, the long-promised (threatened?) Whole Foods announced an opening date: Dec. 17. So, mark your calendars…with the date to avoid 3rd Ave. and 3rd St. in Gowanus. Because it's going to be a madhouse. The Co-op is going to feel so jilted. Welcome to Whassup: Whole Fools Edition:

* Thursday, Nov. 21: Safe Streets Meeting, CBE: This community meeting will address recent traffic deaths and ways to make the streets safer. A topic that just might be worth Tivo-ing your Thursday night lineup for. 7:30pm-9pm.

* Thursday, Nov. 21: Grist Comedy Benefit, Bell House: Environmental site Grist has corralled a stellar lineup of comedians to spew their hilarious CO2 into the air. Green wisecrackers include Eugene Mirman, Wyatt Cenac, David Cross, Kurt Braunohler and more. That's some powerhouse comedic observation right there. 8:30pm, $25.

* Friday, Nov. 22: Reflektor Sale: You know, I used to really like Arcade Fire. Their 2007 show at Randall's Island is still one of my favorites. But, damn, if they haven't turned the preciousness up another notch lately. Now, they want people to dress up for their shows. Is it just me, or is Arcade Fire the Wes Anderson of rock? Anyway, all that aside, they are bringing their three-ring circus of indie-ness to Barclays Center Aug. 22 and 23. Tickets go on sale today. Now go find the perfect skinny tie for the show, and you're all set. 

* Saturday, Nov. 23: Robotic Church, Red Hook: Come worship our robotic overlords before they eventually, inevitably insist that you do so. Might as well get on their good sides early. Artist Chico MacMurtrie has installed a creepy cacophony of robot musicians in his studio. This weekend is their last performance before, presumably, they ascend to their home planet. 7pm-7:40pm, $10 suggested donation. (Also showing Sunday, 8pm).

* Saturday, Nov. 23: Scavenger Hunt, BK Museum: The scavenger hunt, alone amongst the various hunts, usually results in zero fatalities. So, that's a bonus. On this outing, you will find things within our borough's venerable museum, completing "mental challenges" along the way, according to the event description. Yes, that's right: everyone at this event will be mentally challenged. 12:30pm-3:30pm, $25.

* Sunday, Nov. 24: BK Sausage Fest, Bell House: Heheh. Sausage Fest. Well, I guess they pretty much had to name it this. But it is, of course, not what it may at first sound like. It's actually a cooking contest, open to both amateurs and professionals. Also, everyone will whip their dicks out a the end. 2pm, $20.

* ONGOING: Story Collider Crowdfund: Start trying to make science storytelling happen -- or keep happening, as it were. The tremendous, science-themed storytelling show Story Collider is nearing the end of its initial seed money. What a great thing it has been, though, a creative addition to the many, many largely indistinguishable Moth-style storytelling shows out there. But, like most of the awesome science-related things in this sequestered world, it is running a bit skint on funds. Pitch in if you're not an idiot.