[What You Should Order At...] Michael & Ping's

There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.

- Woody Allen in Annie Hall 

Well, that's essentially how I feel about Chinese food. I don't like it. Every place tastes the same to me. It usually gives me a terrible headache -- from the MSG or salt, I don't know. And it leaves me hungry. If I'm going to fall over and die from a stroke after eating something, I want to be full. 

So I don't usually eat it. If I'm out with people and they order it, I'll get an egg roll to be polite. Courtesy egg roll. One day I was bored in my apartment and I wanted to try something different for delivery. So out of a mix of self-loathing and curiosity I tried a new (to me) Chinese place in the neighborhood. Michael and Ping's.

The Yelp reviews for it used to be better. Now it's down to three stars because of a bunch of pussies complaining about no paper plates offered for delivery and that the pork buns aren't gluten free. However, the food here is great. It's high quality Chinese takeout.

My favorite is the Kung Pao chicken. It's got rice. Rice is rice though, so whatever. The sauce is hot but not too spicy. It's got peanuts, which add a much appreciated crunch. A Chinese vegetable mix which I like so much I now buy frozen and use in meals. And high quality grilled chicken pieces. They advertise it as healthy. I don't know if it is. It tastes good though and I don't feel terrible after eating it.