Whassup: March Attacks Edition

Celebrate Brooklyn announced the first summer shows this week.

Let's face it, February is a shitty month. It's (usually) cold; there's a big, fake holiday reminding you of your single-hood right in the middle, and it's really short, always prompting thoughts of, "Wow, another month went by, and I still haven't published that novel or shared real affection with a non-puppy." Well, thank St. Patrick that month's in the shit can, because now we can get on to the good stuff -- March: the creep toward spring, a holiday where you pretend to be Irish and get drunk, and it's named after the badassiest god of them all. Welcome to Whassup: March Attacks Edition:

* Through Sunday, March 4: Yelp Drink Specials, Freddy's and Lucky 13: As we told your drunken asses Wednesday, Yelp wants to support your habit by funding happy hour specials across the City -- including at (South) Slope abodes of alcohospitality, Freddy's and Lucky 13 Saloon. Getcher slurred seech sp- suh- speech on.

* Thursday, March 1: CasHank Hootenanny Jamboree, Freddy's: Tonight's as good a time as any to get sloshed at Freddy's, too. Because what's the best thing to do when you're hammered? No, not awkwardly mouth vacuum a stranger's lips (that's second best). First is stumble through classic country songs. The monthly sing-a-long of Johnny Cash and Hank Williams tunes returns, led by Alex Battles, fresh off the Johnny Cash 80th Birthday Bash. 9pm, FREE.

* Friday, March 2: Bang Your Head!, Bell House: An honest question: Can a tribute to heavy metal's big (commercial) four be appreciated in any way except ironically in Park Slope? My suspicion is no, but maybe some of you can prove me wrong. Tribute bands to Slayer, Megadeth, Anthrax, and -- an act I keep missing,unfortunately -- an all-girl tribute to early, speed-metal Metallica. Paint your fingernails black and raise those horns. 8pm, $12.

* Tuesday, March 6: Not Lying Variety Show, Union Hall: The And I am Not Lying crew, whose residency at Union Hall began last month returns with another buffet-line serving of storytelling, sideshow, burlesque, and comedy. 8pm, $10.

* Ongoing: Best World Music, Barbes and Celebrate Brooklyn: Two Slope venues are up for About.com Reader's Choice Awards for World Music -- Barbes as best-in-the-nation venue, Celebrate Brooklyn as best-in-the-nation series. Go over and cast your Brooklyn-pride vote (or, as the case may be, your Brooklyn-despising anti-vote). And, then plan to check out a show at either or both.

* Deadline March 15: Design Contest, Uncommon Goods: Hey all you underemployed, freelance graphic designers in Park Slope! Put your line-drawing and color-choosing talents to use for a reasonably good cause. Brooklyn-based Uncommon Goods is holding a design contest for a new line of sustainably manufactured picnic cups and plates. You could net $500 to pay off a third of one month's rent! Plus, see your handiwork on litter all across Prospect Park all through the summer. 

* SUMMER!: Prospect Park: Celebrate Brooklyn made the first announcements this week for its coming summer shows at the band shell. Sweet fancy Moses, I know it's been a mild winter, but the first intimations of summer always bring a hopefully non-fatal flutter to my aorta. This week, BRIC announced an opening gala with master reggae-er Jimmy Cliff, a benefit show featuring indie rockers The Dirty Projectors, and a free show from Brit folk singer Laura Marling. Start packing your pretentious Park Slope picnic cheeses now!