WHASSUP: Hotter Than Hell Edition

Summer is fully junk-punching us this week. The AC is flowing as if it were free, sweat is pooling in the streets, and the subway is like the sauna at the NYSC in Chelsea. How are we supposed to beat the heat when the rivers and waterways are abominable and public pools are like swimming in tea cups of urine? Drink lots of fluids and have a good, old fashioned water fight in the park.

I suggest rounding out your evening with some entertainment—something that'll take your mind off your pit stained work clothes. You know the Loius CK bit about butt sweat?

Hit me up with your favorite way to beat the heat. Rmember to include your favorite events from the past week to win...well, nothing. 

So, WHASSUP this week you stinker Slopers? Here's WHASSUP:

Thursday, 7/10, Illya Kuryaki & The Valderramas/Choc Quib Town/RVSB, Prospect Park Band Shell: Ever try to combine hip hop, rock, funk, and salsa? These fuckers do and it’s boner jamz all night long. FREE, 6pm doors

Friday, 7/11, The Kings of Karaoke, Union Hall: Do you like karaoke? If not, I’m barking up the wrong tree. I think it improves the human experience to throw back a few and sing ‘Summer Lovin’ with the first willing partner you can find. FREE, 12am

Saturday, 7/12, Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson, Old Stone House (Outdoors): History meets Rock-n-roll in a musical retelling of our 7^th president. I wish my high school U.S. history class could have pepped it up like this. FREE, 8pm

Sunday, 7/13, The Gluten-Free EatUP, Freddy’s Bar and Back Room: Oh, Gluten—you dangerous temptress, you. I never thought I’d see a fad allergy, but I stand corrected with the emergence of the gluten hatred in this city. Freddy’s is primed to serve up a bunch of gluten-free dishes for all y’all intolerants out there. FREE entry, 1pm-6pm

Monday, 7/14: Check this: Stay in tonight. Take a break. Fire up the Netflix. Make some fucking fusilli, drink vino, and cop a feel on the one you love—or like—or recently met at one of my other brilliant outings.

Tuesday, 7/15, Kitten Coding Club, NYU: Yes—a coding class for ladies. Nerds everywhere just leaked through their pocket protectors. It’s about time the male-dominated tech industry received a healthy dose of estrogen—not that they’ll know what to do with it. FREE, 6pm-8pm

Wednesday, 716, Sunset Pilates, Brooklyn Bridge Park: Annnnd up, and 2, and 3, and 4. Drop those hips, lift those knees. And down, 2, 3, 4. Breath into your shoulders, open your back. I have no clue what the hell I’m saying. FREE 7pm-8pm