Whassup: Dickin' Around Edition

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As Anthony Weiner appears ready to rise again in NY politics, I feel it is my duty, as a Brooklyn "writer," to make at least one penis pun in print -- even if this is an events column, with even less political relevance than The Post. So: surging Weiner. Here comes Weiner. Weiner's gonna be hard to beat. Anthony Weiner's got a big old penis to show you on Twitter direct messaging. (That last one may be a little on the nose.) My point is this: you live in a city in which exposing one's unremarkable genitalia does not disqualify one for major political office. YOU LIVE IN THE GREATEST CITY IN THE WORLD!! Now, get out there and enjoy it. Welcome to Whassup: Dickin' Around Edition:

* Through Sunday, June 30: Chekhov's "Seagull," Prospect Park: Not many people know it, but the USS Enterprise's chief engineer was also a playwright. Recently, some "Star Trek" lovers turned one of Chekhov's fictional plays into a real work, "The Seagull." It's an action-packed tale of a giant space seagull that nearly devours a dashing young starship engineer. Just kidding, of course, this is Anton Chekhov's "The Seagull," the classic Russian drama, put on here by the New York Classical Theatre. It's a "roving" production. Yes, that means the play moves, dragging the audience with it, through the park. In other words, they force you to exercise. Those monsters. The Times called this production "smoothly directed" and praised the familiar, classic lines. You'll call it, "Free, so why not?"  Enter at Parkside and Ocean Avenues, walk to the Rustic Shelter by the Lake. 7pm, FREE (donations welcomed).

* Thursday, June 27: BK Pools Open!: As we told you (read: linked to Brooklyn Daily telling you) earlier this week, Brooklyn's public pool's open today! Public pools: the closest thing NYC has to easily accessible public restrooms. But chlorine exists, so knock yourselves out, folks. Go get tan, wet, exercised and annoyed by small children, all in one trip.

* Thursday, June 27: Rosie Shaap Reads, Park Slope Library: The FINALLY renovated Park Slope branch of the Brooklyn Public Library has some new buddies: specifically, the Friends of Park Slope Library. And these friends come with benefits. Sexual benefits. Just kidding, literary benefits. (Which can be even better than sex, depending on your perversions and literariness.) The Friends are kicking off a new reading series at this weird museum of iPads made from paper: NY Times Magazine "Drink" columnist Rosie Schaap will read from her memoir "Drinking with Men." Come sloshed to get the atmosphere right. 6:30pm, FREE.

* Thursday, June 27-Sunday, June 30: Spoon River Project, Green-Wood Cemetery: Another play-in-a-park (well, basically a park): In Edgar Lee Master's classic "Spoon River Anthology," a town's deceased tell their stories. So, this is happening at Green-Wood Cemetery, which makes sense for obvious reasons. This is a great thing to do, because, during the inevitable zombie apocalypse, you can at least tell the undead you've been willing to listen. Maybe they'll spare you. Day, evening and midnight shows; $30-$35.

* Friday, June 28-Sunday, June 30: URBAN Tattoo Convention, Industry City (Sunset Park): Come in a mere human being; exit a work of art. Or, at least, a human being with a kick-ass tramp stamp. This tattoo convention gathers some of the best, and famousest, tattoo artists to cover up all of our ugly skin with pretty pictures. They will also have temporary tattoos for the kids, because this is (nearish) Park Slope, and even Brooklyn's tattoo artists need to be family-friendly these days. Fri 3pm-1am, Sat 11am-1am, Sun 11am-1am; $15-$55.

* Friday, June 28: Ladysmith Black Mambazo, Bandshell: This South African choral group most famously added all the non-white boy sounds to Paul Simons "Graceland," providing an unexpected second act to the man who put beautiful things into Art Garfunkel's mouth in the '60's. And for that, we are all grateful -- perhaps, none more so than Chevy Chase. Anyway, you can surmise this: Simon didn't choose them because they suck. Probably, more so, because they rule. Come see them rule. 7:30pm, FREE ($3 suggested donation).

* Friday, June 28: Brisketlab Anniversary/Liquor License, BrisketTown (Williamsburg): One year ago, Daniel Delaney finally did what had to be done: he went to Texas, purchased a real-life Texas brisket smoker and showed Brooklyn what true deliciousness is. He is now a god. I am only exaggerating slightly. The initial "Brisketlabs," pop-up brisket events, have since evolved into BrisketTown, a real-life restaurant. The anniversary coincides with Delaney securing a liquor license. And now that Shiner Bock's (finally) made it's way from Austin to Brooklyn, you can get $2 bottles at the party. (Fun fact, Shiner Bock is delivered to Brooklyn by hipsters passing it back along their BK-Austin migratory route. P.S., I know it's made in Shiner, not Austin, but close enough.) 8pm-2am.

* Tuesday, July 2: Geeking Out, Union Hall: Janeane Garofalo (!!) joins FiPS OG Kerri Doherty's celebration of so-embarrasing-it's-cool superfandom. I imagine many in the audience will be experiencing that very same emotion of geek-fandom toward Garofalo. 8pm-10pm, $8.

* Tuesday, July 2: Punderdome 3000, Littlefield: So much pun. This is the first of TWO shows this month for the Punderdome. On July 23, our little Brooklyn pun show makes it's Manhattan debut, at Housing Works Bookstore. Before you know it: Queens. Then? The world. 8pm, $6-$7.

COMING UP:

* SUMMER: Created by Kids Summer Camp: I know the FiPS audience is (proudly) majority non-breeder. But! It's possible some of you have succumbed to those persistent biological imperatives and pumped out a couple sticky income-consumers. Also, maybe you remain friends with a few breeders. In either case, check this out: a startup kids' class group has grown to the point that they can now offer a summer camp for the children to learn about art, science, culture and how to properly insert a straw into a juice box. Opening in two weeks. Don't miss this chance to get rid of your kids for a while.