Whassup: Broken Hearted Edition

via poptower.com

This is apparently the week of mad scrambles for tickets to fucktastically awesome shows in small venues. On Monday, Radiohead tix to Roseland evaporated in a New York min-- (well, you know). And within a couple hours, one of FIPS' favorite venues, the Bell House, announced that comic's comic Louis CK would do two shows on Friday. Tix go onsale that same morning and should be gone nearly as quickly. How many tears must we, with our disgusting #firstworldproblems, cry over refreshing purchase screens in one week? Well, luckily there's always other fun shit to do 'round here. Welcome to Whassup: Broken Hearted Edition:

* Friday, Sept. 30-Sunday, Oct. 2: Brooklyn Country Music Fest, Hank's Saloon: Were you aware that Brooklyn has a country music scene? Don't be surprised. You know we're all from somewhere else, anyway. And lots of those somewhere else's have steel guitars. Alex Battles, a Cash-voiced cowboy with a sense of humor, heads up the scene, and the festival. This year, it stomps its spurred boots at Hank's Saloon, just before the charmingly (maybe?) grimy Boerum Hill institution succumbs to gentrification. Check out the full lineup and times here. FREE.

* Friday, Sept. 30: Louie Louis; Bell House: This the day, folks -- nab one of the tickets for the surprise show by Dane Cook's biggest fan. I have to tell you, if you haven't seen Louis' show or standup, fuck you. Seriously, why are you wasting your time doing anything else with your life? Sorry. Seriously, I envy you hearing his stuff for the first time. He will totally humorfuck your virgin ears. For those of you who already know whatimtalkinbout -- Tickets hit the market at 10am. Godspeed. $10, Two shows: 7pm and 9pm.

* Saturday, Oct. 1: Chile Pepper Fiesta, Botanic Garden: Ask your Latin friends: chili and chocolate? The answer is yes. The answer is so yes. The Botanic Garden celebrates the union of spicy and sweet with this festival of hot sauce tastings, an audience-judged Chile-Chocolate competition, and eight bands with peppery roots including Cajun, Afro-Latin, and Congolese rhumba acts. Tell your tongue you're assaulting it with fire because your taste buds are experience whores. It'll understand. 11am-6pm. $15 (adult tix).

* Saturday, Oct. 1: BK-Queens Laugh Down, Gleason's Gym: Ah shit, y'all, Brooklyn's obvious-in-every-way superiority to all other boroughs is on the line again. Forget about Manhattan. This time, we're up against Queens. "What?? Queens!?" you say. That place with that one beer garden and that other 'hood with all the Indian food? Yes, that Queens. But this match isn't about who has the best places to brunch or who has the best organic whatever -- this is about comedy. The great equalizer. Come laugh your biggest Brooklyn guffaw in support of your home-borough's comedians as they trade (funny) jabs with their Queens counterparts. It all throws down in an actual boxing ring at legendary Gleason's Gym in DUMBO (77 Front Street, 2nd floor) where Mike Tyson and Jake LaMotta, inspiration for Raging Bull, once stalked the ropes. 9pm, $10.

* Sunday, Oct. 2: Atlantic Antic, Atlantic Avenue (Hicks to Fourth Ave): Sometimes I think NYC is just one big excuse to have street festivals -- all the buildings, homes, subways: just infrastructure to make the real point, street fairs, possible. Well, the biggest one in the city happens just north of ya, Slopers. Join about a million other street-food munchers and performance viewers. It's a wide range of pop up boutiques, sausage vendors, children's performers, and musicians. You're bound to find something you like, unless what you like is not-being-in-crowds. 12pm-6pm, FREE.

* Tuesday, Oct. 4: Mock Twain, Littlefield: If he'd lived today, Mark Twain -- that patron saint of literary comedians -- might have been a stand-up comic. Or, at least, a guy who made really hilarious tweets. Littlefield celebrates the comedic chops of one of 'Merica's literary giants with a "Twain in the Membrane" comedy variety show, mixing live acts, cartoons, skits, and a HILARIOUS exhumation of Mark Twain's bones (if we're lucky). The show marks the publication of "Mark Twain's Autobiograpy 1910-2010" by Michael Kupperman. 7:30pm doors, $5-$8.