WHO GIVES A SHIT: WHEN THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE GONNA TAKE DOWN YOUR CHRISTMAS TREES?

It's true I'm a Jew and am unschooled in the ways of Christmas-n-new testament Jesus and shit, but can someone please explain to me why the fuck you guys keep Xmas trees up for MONNNNNTHS?

It's strange slash annoying enough already that the national Christmas avalanche pretty much just get dumped on all of our faces the day after Thanksgiving, but I've been peeping into all your Brownstones and apartments, Park Slope...and like 50% of you btchz still have your Christmas trees front and center in your windows!? And it's January 7th?! Let me do the math for you: Santa was climbing down your chimney 13 days ago. 

Click to read more ...

Who Gives a Shit: Do These Celebrities Actually Live in Park Slope?

A few days back, The Daily Slope wrote an article called "Does Tom Hanks Live in Park Slope?" In it, they pointed out that Park Slope's Wikipedia page lists Hanks as a resident.* Upon further inspection I saw some other celebrities listed that I had no idea lived in this neighborhood: Laurence Fishburne? David Cross? Foxy Brown? Perhaps these people at one time lived in the Slope, but in my 5 years here I've never seen them. Have you?

[Ed. note: Yep, Foxy's mamz lives in Park Slope and she claims this is where she grew up. I've heard David Cross lives here too, though I've never seen him. But here's a vid of him and Michael Showalter arguing about the distance between Park Slope and Boerum Hill--Erica].

*Yes, I realize that Wikipedia is a comically unreliable source. Doesn't make me any less curious.

Who Gives a Shit: Do you have a New Year's Resolution?

'Cause I don't. But if I did, maybe it would be to eat less spaghetti. Or work on my ability to lie (telltale sign: my voice raises an entire octave). 

My roommate made a good point a few weeks back. "If you really wanted to change something about yourself, you'd start today," she said. You wouldn't wait until the first of the year to do it." 

Someone prove me wrong. Have you ever made a New Year's resolution and stuck to it (past February)? Did you make one this year? 

WHO GIVES A SHIT: Would You Want a Designer Proposal, Like These Folks?

Since so many of you singles admitted that all you want is wedding bells in your future, here's something to think about while you're busy finding the bride/groom: designer proposals. The New York Times recently ran a snippet on proposal planners, people to whom men fork over many monies for choreographed, "dream" proposals, since that simple on-bended-knee thing is so 2011. 

Why does this concern you, you ask? 'Cuz one of these gems happened right here on Fifth Avenue at Belleville in your fair neighborhood. But, uh, for some people from Pittsburgh:

Click to read more ...

WHO GIVES A SHIT: Have You Ever Gone To A Tanning Salon in Park Slope?

I mean, I'm not judging or anything...I'm just curious.

This seems like the oddest neighborhood in Brooklyn to plant your tanning salon in, and yet apparently we have at least a couple: Park Slope Tanning & Airbrush and Pacific Tanning. 

I'm assuming that since they're both in business, someone must be going there. I mean, right? 

So tell me: are you all bucking the natural/healthy/organic Park Slope sterotypes or what?  Closet tanorexics raise your hands.