Your FiPS Guide to Valentine's Day: For Singles

via cheezburger.com

Well, here it is, Park Slope: the day on which Hallmark, restaurant chalkboards, and all your attached friends conspire to kick you right in the genitals (Metaphorically. Usually.). Well, conspire with me to hate Valentine's Day right back in its fat, little Cupid face. And there are plenty of ways for the partner-less to occupy themselves in Park Slope this V-Day season. What to do when you're unattached? Read on:

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WHASSUP: Valentine's Day Weekend, Bitches

 *Thursday, February 10: Sexy lessons. Babeland Brooklyn's back with a pre-Valentine's Day massage class to help you spice things up. 7pm at the Bergen Street store, free (and if you mention FIPS, you'll get a free bar of body chocolate. Yep, dreams DO come true!).

*Thursday, February 10: PIZZA at Pete's Pizzabar. So this new joint called Pete's is opening up at 289 Fifth Ave, and apparently they are welcoming folks at random times to taste their new, potentially delcious pizza FOR FREE. Tonight at 7:30pm is one of those random times. So go taste it, report back, and tell those btchz the best way to get some attensh around here is to buy an ad on FIPS (SEE WHAT WE DID THERE??).

*Friday, February 11: V-Day cocktail hour. Babeland and lululemon on Bergen are hosting free hand and foot massages and unveiling "seductive secrets from Babeland Sex Educators." RSVP to brooklyn-showroom@lululemon.com. 6pm.

*Friday, February 11: Dance party. Slice Me Nice is hosting their twice-monthly dance party at The Rock Shop. DJs Brian Blackout and Spoolwork spin. No cover, 10pm. Info.

*Sunday, February 13: V-Day singles bash. Obviously, FIPS and BK Hookup are bringing you lonely singles the best borough party you could ever imagine. Drink specials (plus free booze!), speed dating, matchmaking--and you get to hang with our sexy asses. Get all your info and tickets here, and we'll see you at the Bell House at 7pm.