BREAKING: Tea Lounge Closed by DOH?!

Photo Via Park Slope Lens

UPDATE: Looks like the DOH is on a rampage this week. Will keep you posted as we learn more! 

Word just dropped on a curious incident at the Tea Lounge from FIPS Tipster Devin:

"Not sure what's really going on there, but I was just minding my own business doing some work at the Tea Lounge, and all of the sudden the whole place was emptied out. An employee called out that there was a leak and we all had to leave and he didn't look too pleased, obviously, and the whole thing happened really fast. Everyone had to pack up their laptops and head the fuck out. Seemed kinda fishy, but have no idea what's going on."

Anyone have scoop?

Glory Hole In The Tea Lounge Bathroom?

True confessions, I actually had to google the term "glory hole" when Gogo Gowanus sent me an email with this pic attached of the bathroom at the Tea Lounge (and word to the wise, DO NOT do that shit at work) .

Anyway.

This shitty iPhone pic has actually helped me achieve the impossible...I'm now even MORE grossed out about the bathroom at the Tea Lounge than I already was (and FYI, I was already at like a 11.2 code red level of grossness).

And no I don't know if this actually *is* a Glory Hole or not, ppl but isn't the possibility of it enough?

[and for the record, Gogo swore he did not investigate things any further than takin this pic].

Hidden Slope Oracle: The Tea Lounge Bathroom?

Disclaimer so we don't get sued: This isn't the Tea Lounge bathroom (which, all things considered, is actually pleasant). [ed note: SERIOUSLY?? I ACTUALLY FIND THE TEA LOUNGE BATHROOM TO BE SRSLY VILE]. This is the old CBGB bathroom.  But I'm busy providing photographic ponderance material, so go with me here.

This past weekend, I spent a total of nine hours loitering in the Tea Lounge (with good reason, I assure you): seven on Saturday, and then another two on Sunday.  (To be fair, the ratio of $$ to time I spent may work out to a number that leans more towards "squatting" than "loitering.")

Because downing three large, light ice, hazelnut iced coffees with nonfat milk and a Splenda (in case any of you are dying to buy me a drink next time I'm editing) over the course of five hours is basically the equivalent of consuming a box of diuretic pills like they're Flintstones vitamins, I headed to that bathroom a few times.  And let me tell you, Park Slope; the pearls of wisdom you've left up on those walls for urinators to read--well, I'm speechless.

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HOLY WAFFLES, PARK SLOPE, IT’S NUMBER 5 RECYCLING DAY!

Many of my Sundays are spent at the Tea Lounge pretending I’m advancing my career as a writer (come say s'up, friends!).  Usually, I make my grand entrance onto Union street from Seventh--this is so the coopretards and I stay clear out of each other’s paths. 

Yesterday, I made the mistake of approaching the Tea Lounge from Fifth (foreshadowing: BIG MISTAKE). As a result, I had to walk through the most insane Coop madness I’ve ever seen: NUMBER FIVE RECYCLING DAY!!!! 

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The Dog Whisperer Should Be Raising Your Kids

If you've ever seen the Dog Whisperer on the National Geographic channel, you know that the dude is a fucking miracle worker.

In fact, in an article in the NYT today, there are quite a few parents who claim that Cesar Millan's techniques work pretty darn well with kids too.

So, yeah: embrace that shit, Park Slope! Then the next time I'm at the Teat Lounge and your little bebe comes rollin on up to me with frosting all over their hands and goes to reach out and touch my macbook, I can let loose with a "TTTSSSSHHHHHHHHH!," and they'll know to back the fuck off.

Cool?