V-Day Special Report: Let's Stay Together

Ok, so OBVIOUSLY Valentine's Day wins the award for stupidest holiday on record.

After all the lame red-rose flower deliveries at work, Russel Stover variety packs at at Duane Reade, and grown fucking men on the subway clutching teddy bear mugs with "I love you" helium balloons attached, it's enough to make any sane mofo buy a cubic zee abstinence ring and just call it a goddamned day. And yep: this is coming from someone who's lucky enough to have husband.

So yeah: I srsly feel for anyone who's not paired up on V-day. FIPS CARES! And so we have two suggested solutions for dealing with this v-day crap: immersion and education.

1. Immersion: If you give a shit about flying solo, and wanna meet some other hot-n-sexy single dudes and ladiez, buy a ticket to our upcoming pre-v-day singles dance party on Sunday, February 13. People who met at previous events GOT MARRIED, are still dating, and (duh) got laid. Like a lot. We even have a couple of rounds of speed dating for those of you who are srsly in it to win it (hosted by Jinners from I Heart Nerds fame), an hour of free booze from Solerno,, whoopie pies from Trois Pommes and yep: a gaggle of hot, single FIPS writers on hand who you can try to seduce/trick into liking you. Oh and if you meet someone cool, you won't have to be alone on d-day v-day.

2. Education: Read about some other success stories from our fave bloggers/writers around the interwebz. These people have all managed to find other btchz/bros to pair up with, and they're sharing all their best scoop and advice on how you can do the same.

Click to read more ...

Hey, Broke Singles: Spend Tomorrow Drunk with Other Broke Singles...

...instead of alone! 

Fuck the Millionaire Matchmaker (ignoring that present company is watching HD on Demand of this god forsaken show). After all, we are Brooklyn, and none of that moneybags Manhattan shit flies here. (Right.) Anyway, tomorrow at Union Hall: the Hundredaire Matchmaker, a singles event for the broke but still relatively fabulous.

In their words, if you've ever thought, "Hey, I'm single and kind of a tool, but I'm also kind of broke. How will I ever fulfill my dreams of being brought onto someone's show, made fun of, and then matched up with an outer-boroughs golddigger?" then this is for you.

It's only five meager bucks (for true love! What a barggg!). Get your info and last minute entry in here, and preview some of the eligible here.

Park Slope 100 List Dropped

Only The Blog Knows Boring came out with their annual Park Slope 100 list last week. You know, the "fifth  annual alphabetical list of 100 people, places and things that make Park Slope such a special place to live. 100 Stories, 100 ways of looking at the world."

If you can actually get through the whole thing without having to sniff glue to stay awake, you deserve an all expense paid trip to the non-ghetto Target in Harlem.

Personally, I thought the thing read like one of those "senior lists"--is that what they're called? Like when you're a senior in H.S. and they print out each seniors thank yous/memories in a big list, which is really nothing more than a desperate attempt for most of us to ensure that everyone knew that even though we weren't ON the cheerleading squad, we were still FRIENDS with the cheerleaders. I WAS ACTUALLY MORE POPULAR THAN YOU THOUGHT I WAS, PPL.

So yeah, aside from #75 (Congrats, Allison!) it was snoozefest 2010 pour moi.

Click to read more ...

These Ppl Met At The Naughty Office Holiday Party Last Year, AND NOW THEY'RE MARRRRRRIEEEDDDD!

Srsly, ppl...this is not a drill. THIS IS THE REAL THING!

Marta and Tim met at last year's Naughty Office Holiday party and now they are hitched...like legally! That's them above on their wedding day in Central Park!

I'm pretty sure this is our first BK Hookup marriage, and also the thing that *might* karmically save me from going straight to hell. All I know is, it's totally fucking amazing. 

If you don't already have your ticket, get one. Cause maybe you'll end up like Marta and Tim. Or not, and maybe you'll just get laid. Either way, you need to be prepared.

Here's some more scoop on this happy, adorably cheesy couple:

Click to read more ...

You Rock, Neal Block! Whoever you are...

When approached by AM New York for an off-the cuff-reaction to Tiger Woods move to NYC, Park Slope GOD Neal Block, aged 30, had this to say...

"Tiger Woods is free to live wherever Tiger Woods wants to live. It neither pleases nor upsets me in any way," said Neal Block, 30, of Park Slope. "I look forward to running into him at Scores."

And to think, this is the first I've heard about the "legendary gentleman's club" Scores.

Can I nominate Neal Block for Park Sloper of the week? 

Come get your honorary FIPS mug.