Update: Jersey Still a Gigantic Shithole

On Saturday I had to drag the kids out to Highland Park, NJ to go visit friends who just moved there from Park Slope. I took horrifying pictures.

Please someone save these goddamn images to their hard drive and push them in my stupid face the next time I complain the tiniest little bit about how much I hate Park Slope.

In my defense, it's a logical thought progression; I live in Park Slope and:

• I pay an absurdly high rent for a small place with no backyard and mice


• I deal with politically-correct asstards, pushy parents, food co-op proto-scientologists, and wall street fucks for whom Park Slope was a last-ditch Safety School


• I have no fucking clue where my kids will go to middle-school


• I have no fucking money

...so when my wife and I stay up at night fighting because of all these factors, it's natural that we consider the all-out gamechange provided by dropping the atom bomb: Shoot the moon - just quit - fuckin move to Jersey!

Too bad it's not that easy. Just look at this shithole:




Imagine you actually had to live there and look at this crap every day? LIVE inside these pictures? Anything is better than that. This is why we fight; This is why we stay; This is why we tough it out and Zipcar to Fairway.