V-Day Special Report: Let's Stay Together

Ok, so OBVIOUSLY Valentine's Day wins the award for stupidest holiday on record.

After all the lame red-rose flower deliveries at work, Russel Stover variety packs at at Duane Reade, and grown fucking men on the subway clutching teddy bear mugs with "I love you" helium balloons attached, it's enough to make any sane mofo buy a cubic zee abstinence ring and just call it a goddamned day. And yep: this is coming from someone who's lucky enough to have husband.

So yeah: I srsly feel for anyone who's not paired up on V-day. FIPS CARES! And so we have two suggested solutions for dealing with this v-day crap: immersion and education.

1. Immersion: If you give a shit about flying solo, and wanna meet some other hot-n-sexy single dudes and ladiez, buy a ticket to our upcoming pre-v-day singles dance party on Sunday, February 13. People who met at previous events GOT MARRIED, are still dating, and (duh) got laid. Like a lot. We even have a couple of rounds of speed dating for those of you who are srsly in it to win it (hosted by Jinners from I Heart Nerds fame), an hour of free booze from Solerno,, whoopie pies from Trois Pommes and yep: a gaggle of hot, single FIPS writers on hand who you can try to seduce/trick into liking you. Oh and if you meet someone cool, you won't have to be alone on d-day v-day.

2. Education: Read about some other success stories from our fave bloggers/writers around the interwebz. These people have all managed to find other btchz/bros to pair up with, and they're sharing all their best scoop and advice on how you can do the same.

B. from STFU Parents:
*read this blog for allll sorts of hilarious shit that fucked-up/annoying parents post on Facebook. You will howl with laughter.

How did you meet?
My boyfriend and I met in college. He was friends with my then-boyfriend's roommate and subsequently became our pot dealer. A couple of years after both his dealing career and my relationship diminished, we started dating. And it's been approximately 100 years of sunshine-y good times since!

How long have you been together?
8 years. 

What's your best advice for some single chump who's lookin for love?
Single chumps need to get some confidence. All it takes to get laid and/or a date is a good sense of humor, intelligence and confidence. And willpower. Don't act like a stalker and you'll be just fine.

Andy Newman, NYT City Room Blog:
*Duh...stop reading the fake news here on FIPS and read the REAL news on City Room. They have real reporters-n-shit.

How did you meet?
Summer 2001, the industrial northeast corner of Williamsburg, near Newtown Creek. The gas company is planning to demolish two 400-foot-tall natural gas storage tanks that have sat empty for decades. Residents treasure them as landmarks and fight the demolition. The reporter hops on his bike to check it out. It is July 4. Two promising women approach, accompanied by a basset hound. The tall gangly one, who kind of resembles Joey Ramone if he were a hot-looking woman with big boobs, is the better quote. She tells him it's "kind of romantic" to sit in her kitchen looking at the gas towers. She says she's in a fantasy-rock band and clarifies, in reply to the aspergerish Pavement-freak reporter's quizzical stare, "Our songs are about hobbits and trolls." The reporter has never met an adult who talks like this.
 
The woman tells the reporter that when the tanks are imploded, she will be dancing in a Renaissance gown as a filmmaker shoots the video for her new song, ''Pentagram in the Sky.'' He comes back to cover the demolition 11 days later and seeks her out.
 
On their first date, when she mentions that she went to college with J. Mascis, he calculates that she lied about her age in their initial interview. A decade later, he continues to threaten to run a correction in the newspaper.

How long have you been together? 
Nine years six months one child.

What's your best advice for some single chump who's lookin for love?
Take up a sport like reporting that gives you license to walk up to strangers and ask them questions under the cloak of professional necessity.

Michele Varian, Owner of the famous Soho Shop and blogger:
*Usually I just go to Michele's store and dump my wallet out on the counter. Then I say, "just throw however much this will buy into a bag and I'll be on my way."

How did you meet?
I met the man who is now my husband at a birthday party for a girl whom I had just met through work.
I wanted to go to the party because it was at this crazy Bulgarian bar, where I had never seen anyone but people I presumed were Bulgarian. It was pretty much wall to wall crushed red velvet, with shag carpeting, but complete with a dance floor and all the men who worked there wore vests and had very thick, dark mustaches. I always sort of felt like I was in the middle of a SNL skit when I was there. I couldn't believe this bar was on Miss Hipsterville's radar. I figured this chick must be more interesting than I realized and thereby her friends would be as well.

As it turns out, the only person who would talk to me was my future husband. Everyone else was way too cool. It also turns out the best friend of the birthday girl was my husband's girlfriend at the time. They had a f*up open relationship, which thankfully, my husband heartily agrees was a far too complicated way to live.

I figured it was OK to bring him home with me, when his girlfriend left with another man.

How long have you been together?
10 years

What's your best advice for some single chump who's lookin for love?

• If you're a woman hang out with guy friends!!!! A gaggle of women makes you totally unapproachable. Women in a group are really mean to men.
• Um, again, go hang out with your guy friends. If you have guy friends, they probably have crushes on you, so that makes you look really hot to other guys.
• If you go on a "date" with a guy (you may have deduced that I've never really "dated") or know a guy likes you, but you only like him as a "friend," BE HIS FRIEND!!! Don't mess things up by stringing him along, making out, or whatever. You've gotta keep things clean. This way you can hang out with him and he'll introduce you to his friends who might be more your flavor and are probably cool, because they're friend is cool.

SUGGESTIONS THAT MAY SOUND LIKE OPRAH SAID THEM:

• go out and do the things you love doing. You'll find people who like what you like that way.
• being happy and fun are the most attractive traits in ANY human being, so don't feel sorry for yourself or be perceived as desperate. Meeting Mr/Mrs "Right" won't "make" you happy. You have to make yourself happy.

Dan Delaney, Eaters Digest NYC:
*If you wanna know EVERY SINGLE THING going on in NYC that is even remotely cool and food related, sign up for Eaters Digest NYC. Then get fat.

How did you meet?
Miko and I met at a Revision3 video meetup, but I'm pretty sure she was stalking my street food loving ass for a while on Twitter prior. She had a boyfriend at the time, but I was persistent, and got my way.

How long have you been together? 
Just about eight months. But we moved in after three weeks, so it feels a whole lot longer!

What's your best advice for some single chump who's lookin for love?
Maybe don't look to hard, expect less, and be open to the unexpected. Place yourself in places you'd like to meet people, and let it happen naturally.

Susan Brinson from House of Brinson:
*One of the most beautiful shelter/lifestyle blogs you ever did see...and Susan and her husband Will write it/photograph it together, which might normally make you barf, but totally NOT in their case.

How did you meet?
Will and I met at his birthday party. My BFF Susan (we had the same name) took me to a party and told me before we walked in, 'The birthday boy is mine!' By the end of the night Will and I had such a connection she gave in. Will's mom was out of town on his birthday, so of course I was 'supposed' to be at the movies with Susan. My parents had no idea I was at a 'no adults' party at 15 years old. With 'older, private school boys' to boot.

How long have you been together?
18 years

What's your best advice for some single chump who's lookin for love?
Throw out all your preconceived notions about what is right for you. Everyone is looking for the 'perfect' person, but it is the opposite of that person you really need. I think having an idea of what you 'want' puts up walls. You will know if a lover is right for you, if you know who you are as a person. You might have something in common like the same life goals, or a love for travel. Plus, I was totally into dark hair, preppy guys and I got a blonde guy with long hair and biker jacket. Perfect example.

Marian Schembari, Cutting Through the BS of Social Media:
*Introducing the first social media expert I've ever come across that doesn't make we want to murder a Panda. I've already learned like 9 billion things from her, and we've only known each other a couple of months.

How did you meet?
I met Sam, my boyfriend, in Oslo Norway. I love this story because we're both super cheap and were living in London at the time (this was fall of 2007). Ryan Air, the local budget airline was having a £40 round-trip special to Norway so I forced a friend of mine to come with me. We stayed in a dinky little hostel where you could smoke in the hallways. My friend was a smoker so I would sit out in the hall with her while she gave herself cancer. Sam was also in Norway with a smoker friend because of the Ryan Air sale so he would sit out with her in the hallways. And that's how we met! The four of us spent some of our trip together and before we parted ways exchanged FB info. Turns out we worked on the same street back in London! So we started having picnic lunches during our work breaks and it was love at first sandwich. The rest is history...

How long have you been together?
Since January 2008. So 3 years-ish?

What's your best advice for some single chump who's lookin for love?
Travel, baby! Well, actually no. Sam and I had great difficulties with visa drama and the long-distance thing. So I 100% don't recommend that. So stick to your geographic location. MeetUp? I looovvve MeetUp for making friends in the area when I don't know anyone. Why not scope for a love there too?

Meri Cherry:
*So many fab, colorful art projects for kids, pretty photos, and great ideas for Teachers. Also, get your heads out the gutter: she's not a porn star...like not even a little bit. 

How did you meet?
Met my husband through Dr. Phil. Match.com style.

How long have you been together?
4 years

What's your best advice for some single chump who's lookin for love?
Give up! Then he'll show up.

Ok, fine: ME:
*you know what the fuck this blog is about.

How did you meet?
Greg and I met through a mutual friend, who I dated briefly in LA. As it turns out, this dude was BFF's with Greg from college, and when he came to NYC for a work trip, he invited all of his pals out one night to the Grass Roots Tavern in the village. I showed up, sat next to G and we're been joined at the hip since.

How long have you been together?
10 years this August.

What's your best advice for some single chump who's lookin for love?
Get a dog! I mean, only get a dog if you really want one, but if you DO: YOU WILL MEET SOOOO MANY PEOPLE. I'm constantly  having convos with people that I would otherwise ignore on the street because of Oliver, and a lot of them aren't even super annoying! Well, "a lot" might be overstating it a tad, but still! A dog will totally open up your world: you can hang at the dog park, go to off-leash hours, the pet store, get drunk at the Gate...srsly: that shit works. Oh, and duh: also buy your ticket to our singles event this Sunday at the Bell House! Worst case scenario you can hang with me and get drunk.