Gettin' It Right: Methodist Hospital Emergencaaaaay Room
J. Charles | Monday, April 22, 2013 at 12:00PM 
Two weeks ago I cut the left corner of my right thumb clean off with a mandolin (not the instrument). Like a real dipshit I decided to slice a cucumber without using the hand guard. I effectively farmed a neat stack of beautifully sliced paper-thin cucumbers with some thumb on top. Hot right?
First moral of my cautionary / endorsement tale: DON'T BE A CULINARY HOT SHOT! Use the damn hand guard when operating a mandolin.
I went right into medical crisis mode: Since the chunk was substantial I put it in a little freezer baggy. I remembered hearing that the flesh shouldn't touch the ice directly so I threw a handful of ice into a Fairway bag, threw the baggy in and figured I was good to go. I actually felt high (and this is what others would come to tell me was shock) but I was hell bent on getting that thumb chunk reattached. I wrapped the wound in about 15 paper towels and a red dish cloth. I knew I was beyond the point of a Band Aid and no sense in alarming the general public with blood-stained kitchen linens (blood actually is more brownish than red so using a red dish towel for camouflage was a false economy).
eats, gettin it right 
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