Who Gives a Shit: Where Can We Get The Best Iced Coffee in Park Slope?

Photo via www.thepioneerwoman.com

The hot weather is upon us, so we don't have time to mess around on this one. Tell us WHERE and WHY. Reach into that inner poet to find some adjectives that will make us all run out and buy the icy cold goodness that you recommend! 

Rumorsville: Starbucks to take over former Uncle Moe's space

via Cakeheart's Flickr

We here at FiPS have been pretty invested in what business might go into the space on 7th Avenue formerly known as Uncle Moe's. We even wrote an article demanding begging suggesting that if a salad bar took over the space, it would make a million dollars. When the "For Rent" signs disappeared from the windows a few weeks ago, we were a bit nervous. Did Just Salads listen to our excessive tweeting and snag the space? Or would we be subjected to another burrito place, bagel joint or yogurt shop? What was it going to be?

Well, we got our answer. And lo and behold, it's not what we wanted.

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GIVE ME A BABYCCINO OR I'LL SUSPEND YOUR ASS FROM THE COOP

Photo via www.sprudge.com

Me: "I'm taking this for FIPS. It will be short and sweet and someone may die."

Kerri, FIPS Managing Ed: "The New Yorker was right: our neighborhood IS dying..."

Seriously, I'm not usually the one who's like, "Fuck yer babies!" becuase, like, one day I'm going to be one of those pain-in-the-ass parents who only keeps organic kale and locally-made seitan in her house, depriving her offspring of authentic world experience while flying a vegan flag above my brownstone. So, as someone with a Bugaboo in her future, I get it.

But like, fuck yer babies this time.

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[My Favorite Park Slope]: Sit-Down Coffee Break Spots

Image Via Chinae Alexander

New York has officially made me a minor coffee snob. Some days I wish I could just go back to thinking a cup of joe at Dunkin' was the fucking jam. But I can't...and you probably can't either. 

For a runaway cup of coffee, I'll do Gorilla or Cafe Grumpy -- my favorite coffee in the Slope. The drinks are excellent and there's never any room to sit...anywhere (unless you want to sit in the garbage collection area outside of Gorilla, where you'll find me pretty much every Saturday morning). 

But sometimes you just want to sit and actually enjoy the fine art of coffee-ing, rather than using it to prevent waterboarding a co-worker before 10AM.

Here are my two favorite sit-down coffee joints in the Slope:

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COOL OR NOT COOL: STARBUCKS CALLING THE COPS ON YOUR SQUATTER ASS?

Image via thesalmonfarm.orgGawker recently reported an incident at a Manhattan Starbucks in which a dude got kicked out of the joint for just sitting there and not buying anything. Here's the clincher though...they called the cops. I mean, that seems a little excessive, no? The tipster reported that the man was "well-dressed" i.e. not a homeless, crazy guy trying to eat his own elbow. Here's a snippet of the conversation that took place once the cops came:

Guy: "They told me to buy a cup of coffee or leave. That's pressure. I'm in Starbucks all the time. This isn't a Mom & Pop store."
Police: "It's a business and you have to buy something."
Guy: "Is this any way to run a business? I'm leaving, but I want your badge numbers."

So what's the deal Starbucks?

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